Dildometer

The dildometer is a device used to measure the velocity of any given dildo. i.e. the speed of a dildos movement when inserted into an orifice of the users choice.

Tom: What were your new dildo's ratings on the dildometer??
Jessica: My dildo was off the charts!! The dildometer read out the dildocity at an astonishing 100 dildons!
Tom: Wow! You gotta let me borrow that!

by butt chug January 2, 2016

ear dildo

Slang term for an ear plug, used at concerts, while doing yardwork, to sleep, etc.

Pat is such a douche that he wears ear dildos to concerts.

by Peacey P February 1, 2008

Dildo

A large (or small) object used through men and women or whatever gender you are to masturbate or as decorations on Halloween.

WOW!!! Look at all those spooky dildos!

by Niglet Raper June 21, 2016

Dildo

A female sex toy that you can put in the anus

I use a dildo when I'm lonely

by KingSavage997 April 25, 2017

Dildo

Dildo means a fake penis that girls/guys use.

Example: The Dildo I used last night went 12 inches deep in your mom.

by Madkso June 7, 2018

dildo

The piece of silicon your bitch is using when shes thinking or Michel b Jordan at night after you give her your mediocre shrimp dick making her wonder why shes with you .

"why you using that dildo babe we just had sex" (her) "yeah for like 2 seconds you limp dick bastard "

by nellyboi December 3, 2018

Polish Dildo

A frozen turd, used mainly by council estate scratters and impoverished Eastern Europeans.

I came home to find my wife whaling away on herself with a Polish Dildo. The house smelled like the shit house door on a Grimsby trawler.

by lordtippet June 23, 2017