Playboy, Penthouse, Razzle, The Pants and Bra section of Littlewoods catalogue, The back of a Special K box, family holiday photos could all be used as a self help manual
by Garthy September 19, 2006
Get the Self Help Manual mug.A short publication that would have saved you a lot of time if you bothered to read it. However, reading an instruction manual before attempting to assemble/use the product with which it came is a sure sign of mental and physical weakness.
Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.
Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary
When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;
1. Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.
2. Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.
3. If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.
4. When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.
5. Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.
6. Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)
Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.
Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary
When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;
1. Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.
2. Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.
3. If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.
4. When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.
5. Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.
6. Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)
The instruction manual was written in total gibberish.
The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful.
Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic?
Jill: Oh Yes Please!
Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 205.
The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful.
Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic?
Jill: Oh Yes Please!
Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 205.
by Jimstock July 16, 2008
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by adonkeyisaass November 19, 2003
Get the Computer Manual mug.A gentlemens interest magazine containing pictures of "Ladies who never say no" also features on classic cars and premium rate phone lines.
whilst walking the dog , I discovered a fantastic stash of dicarded wrist manuals , who says flytipping is all bad.
by Chris Ord August 31, 2006
Get the wrist manual mug.The Loser's Manual is really a User's Manual one receives when making the purchase of an electronic gadget, or a new piece of lawn equipment, power tool, etc. The difference is that real men never consult the User's Manual.
Guy #1: Hey Kyle, I just bought this weed whacker, but can't figure out how to install the fishing line, can you hand me the User's Manual?
Guy #2: You mean Loser's Manual don't you Jeff?
Guy #1: Why do you call it the Loser's Manual Kyle?
Guy #2: 'Cause only a Loser would have to use it, real men never consult the User's Manual.
Guy #1: I see, well in that case let's go get a beer.
Guy #2: Now you're talking.
Guy #2: You mean Loser's Manual don't you Jeff?
Guy #1: Why do you call it the Loser's Manual Kyle?
Guy #2: 'Cause only a Loser would have to use it, real men never consult the User's Manual.
Guy #1: I see, well in that case let's go get a beer.
Guy #2: Now you're talking.
by ReaperB October 26, 2013
Get the Loser's Manual mug.Most privates (military rank) are so stupid they couldn't fuck their mothers with the aid a polish sex manual.
by Whiskey Tengo Foxtrot August 31, 2011
Get the polish sex manual mug.A detailed instruction and guide for various operations at Plant II. Its intent is to apply LEAN manufacturing concepts and initiatives. While never used, this document consumed hundreds of hours of preparation time. It's true benefit to cost ratio still remains unknown.
"Hey Aaron, let's go to Plant II and see how things are going with the Plant II instruction manual." "Sounds good Carl, but before we go check that out let's go get some breakfast at McDonald's and see who we can catch cheating on their 10 minute break by going to the gas station for coffee."
by Digital Dan September 11, 2012
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