Human

1) A member of the Homo-sapien race.

2) Something that people criticise for flaws despite them being one themselves to make themselves feel superior to others.

1)
Alien 1: What is that over there?
Alien 2: That's a human.

2)
Person 1: Humans are extremely stupid.
Person 2: You are one of us, and it's not like you are doing anything productive to improve the human race.

by Epicguyof1337 December 8, 2014

Human Resources

If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."

when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!

by earpuller December 2, 2010

cards against humanity

The best, funniest party game in existence. Like Apples to Apples, but infinitely more offensive.

We played Cards Against Humanity and laughed for hours.

by Niki Marie September 23, 2013

Human Verification

The worst fucking thing ever invented by technology and makes you question if Satan has found a way to torture us on Earth. It`s damn near impossible to get them correct, and it ruins fucking everything. Even here on Urban Dictionary I had to fucking click that i`m not a robot to a god damn robot. I give a big fat fuck you to whoever the hell made this online torture device. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Human Verification wants to make me fucking die.

by nabrU yranoitciD January 22, 2020

human resources bitch

A fat ungly bitch who works in the HR departement of a company, and who thinks she's the boss of everyone, screaming and making scenes with other employees. This behaviour is due to the lack of self accomplishment she is experienceing.

(regular employee)"Hi Cindy, could you give me a empty type B form?"
(Human Resources bitch)"(yelling)What the fuck!? Can't you see I'm busy?(no she's not)?! Get your own fucking form!!!"

by TenHands March 2, 2011

human fly

A guy or girl who is obsessed with you and won't leave you alone even after you've rejected them multiple times. In public, they stand uncomfortably close to you and attempt to engage you in conversation making you feel like you're being surrounded by an annoying fly that won't go away. Dropping hints such as scooting away or excusing yourself do not work. They only make the human fly work ten times harder.

Jack wouldn't stop pestering Tina at the party. He kept hovering around her like a human fly.

by humanflymagnet February 8, 2010

Human Triangle

The "tag" given to a steroid abuser who frequents the gym only to work out on the whole of the upper body and neglect any leg exercises what so ever, forming the shape of an up side down triangle i.e. A Human Triangle.

Henry; Hey Dan! how do ya like my chest and biceps!?

Dan; Yes very manly, but I can't help but notice that your legs look like two pieces shit dangling out of a fishes ass hole.

Henry; Oh don't be so mean :(

Dan; Human Triangle.

by cheekycheese July 18, 2013