Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

The biggest and most cancerous game in the counter-strike series to date! You'll find just about every emotion in this ball of absolute and utter autism called csgo for short. Whether you find yourself fending off wallers or aimbotters you are guaranteed to blow a head gasket. Maybe fancy yourself some casual? There you can find an assortment of terrible players who you couldn't possibly think would actually be having fun considering they are so bad at the game but alas before you press that mic key you are drowned out by the thousands of 6-12 year olds with aspergers spamming the mic with "dank memes" got a sick inventory? Well you must be Global right? HahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHDJFJICIGKFNFKTIGOGLFMFK........where did I go wrong?

Me: what's the diagnosis Doctor?
Doctor: I'm afraid you have Counter-Strike: Global Offensive .....uncurable
Me:NOOOOOOOOO

by Mmmmcereal June 3, 2016

Offensive Board

When a couple breaks up, but before anyone else can pick up the girl on the rebound, the same guy gets back together with her. The term comes from basketball, where an offensive board or offensive rebound prolongs a team's possession.

Man: I heard Katie and Mike broke up. Finally I can get Katie on the rebound, that fox.

Friend: Nope. Mike grabbed the offensive board and got right back with her.

Man: Curses! I'll box out next time.

by tripleovertime99 December 21, 2010

offensive monkey

Someone who is incredibly vulgar, hateful, and spiteful all the time -- for no reason. Typically, an offensive monkey has no idea that people feel this way about them because they are disconnected from reality.

But you gotta be careful around offensive monkeys, because they are crazy and could snap at any moment, without warning, and bite your fingers off and/or tear your face up.

Sam: Can you believe that douche?

Nick: Yeah man, what an offensive monkey.

by Lima Beaners March 8, 2011

non-offensive swears

"Fetch" for "Fuck"
"Gol" (short for 'Golly') for "God"
"Heck", of course.

Mormons are great sources for psuedo-swears. Check out my site for more fake swearing.
http://www.cafepress.com/shamelesshumor/643594

by Shameless Creations July 23, 2008

Counter-offensive

An insult rendered in passing against someone who is not present, usually over a breakfast counter.

Person 1: Does DImmortal realize that his user-name sounds like "Dim Mortal"?
Person 2: That's counter-offensive, yo.

by MyRealNameIsMyPseudonym December 30, 2009

TET Offensive

A rather elaborate love making maneuvre, in which a man balances a single quart of butter ripple liqueur betwixt his lady lovers ass crack while taking her from behind. During the act, the drink will spill down the crack, soaking all appropriate body parts.. at this time, the man pulls out, and she takes him in her mouth to enjoy the sweet, and in the end salty surprise.

"I gave Stacy the TET Offensive last night!"

by Bobbo the Gobbo August 13, 2022

Counter Strike: Global Offensive

A game for people with no sanity, a lot of time, and no life.

Guy 1: Hey man, want to play some Counter Strike: Global Offensive
Guy 2: Why the fuck did you say it like that?

by NinjaNugget April 9, 2022