microphone

A thing that is used to stick up peoples asses to listen inside

"Honey, I'm ready. Get the microphone"

by TTV BenDaSheep April 10, 2024

Microphone Blowdryer

The act in which someone rips cheeks into a microphone so someone on the other end can hear it. It is also used for sexual pleasure as you sniff the microphone with it being so close to your nose already.

Jared - Bro what was that noise
You - Sorry I was just doing a Microphone Blowdryer to myself

by Dinomax65 October 18, 2025

Polish Microphone

Pilots on long flights in small aircraft would often install in a small funnel attached to a rubber hose that ran out side. If necessary they would use funnel to relieve themselves during the flight

No need to stop at the next gas station said Bill. I'll just use the Polish Microphone

by Largo 7 May 29, 2014

Laptop Microphone

A really fucking bad microphone that sounds like a built in laptop banana.

Horrible Microphone Kid: OMG IM SO GOOD AT THIS GAME GUYS IM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!
Studio Microphone Guy: Shut the fuck up and stop using your Laptop Microphone

by YoMommaJokesAreOld June 13, 2015

Missouri microphone

When you engage in anal sex with a lover, and go straight to oral sex with another.

Dude, I can't believe she sang into my Missouri microphone last night...

by Chilebeso October 22, 2015

The Microphone

An extreme version of The Screwdriver where your hand comes out the mouth

Man dude Patrick really did The Microphone on me I'm so sore

by Realskskdude April 28, 2019

Purple microphone

Penis

Giving head is called "singing into the purple microphone"

by Purpmic December 27, 2019