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fecal matter

Something or someone associated in some way with feces.
Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"
by Pantaloon January 30, 2008
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felandoed

fe-lan-doed
-verb
1. The hopeless sense that one feels when his/her expectations have been defied.*

*Also, in some instances, this can be applied to the feeling that one gets when a lecture seems to be over but isn't.
1. "Wait, class isn't over??? I just got felandoed!"
2. "She's a man? I just thought she had a deep voice! I just got felandoed!"
3. "A death so sudden, she was doing so well. It is a shame that the local pit bull was faster than she. FELANDOED!"
by Dovnd Arulai November 27, 2007
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Fecal Shrapnel

The scattered remains of an explosive fart or shit most commonly found in a toilet or in ones underwear.
“Brad was so disgusted by the fecal shrapnel in the toilets he appointed himself the Fecal Shrapnel Monitor on the job site”.
by CEMS guy December 9, 2008
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fecal surprise

The shocking horror that awaits you in a restroom stall aka assplosion aka phantom shit.

Having feces left in, on, and/or around the toilet bowl, the floor, the walls, the faucet, the sink, the mirror, the toilet paper dispenser, inside the soft soap dispenser, etc.
Wow you look horrible.

Yeah I just got out of the john and some sick fuck left me a fecal surprise.
by !BlackDeath! December 12, 2007
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fecal feet

NOUN-A term used to describe a country bumpkin who runs barefoot, even in cow pastures. They have no concern about stepping in whatever farm dung may be lying there. Often these people are missing teeth and are married to their cousins.
"Hey, look at fecal feet over there. I bet his family tree doesn't have any branches"
"Holy cow, man! Why did you bring fecal feet?? We aren't going cow tipping!!"
"I don't care if she has fecal feet, she is a well fed country girl. I bet she can cook a mean possum"
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FECALPHIED

The grand master of shit..

When u are no longer a virgin to the great world of shit..
Odie is the most fecalphied man i know..

(Odie sermen) Teachings and Preachings enlightening poor flocks of onlookers to the art of expelling human excrement

This year at work i fecalphied my ass!!!! Arent you jealous go git you some
by ODIES GUNTING December 13, 2009
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fecal expression

The contortions of the facial structure elicited by an arduous shit.
Usually the result of constipation, diarrhea, or the dreaded constirrhea.
Max had madddd fecal expression after having those subway tacos.
by lbeesntdeirx March 10, 2013
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