Shower Philosopher

A person who commonly discusses the philosophies of life with his/her self while in the shower. Often times these people will come out of the shower with some realization of something in life.

Person 1: "What took you so long in there?"
Person 2: "I was wondering which language deaf people think in."
Person 1: "Ah. You must be a shower philosopher."
Person 2: "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

by mattywhack March 5, 2013

Phacebook Philosopher

A person who in real life lacks actual intelligence but on social media regularly post "deep" statuses or tweets that show their "emotional" sides. Phacebook Philosophers rarely ever live by these teachings and these post are done almost purely to give the allusion of sophistication. They often tell of success and the future and sound good on paper. Occasionally they will sprinkle God's name in the post to add a religious aspect to the mix. The most common Phacebook Philosophers are hoes.

Hoe's Post on Facebook - "Everyone is gonna hurt you but you have to find the ones worth suffering for."

This hoe allows herself to be used continuously and is apparently oblivious to it. She is a Phacebook Philosopher.

Hoe's Post on Facebook - "Going to Bible Study tonight!!"

Little do you know that she is merely going for social purposes if at all. And the amount of dick she will suck afterwards will counteract any good she's done previously that day. She is a Phacebook Philosopher.

by In.The.AM October 18, 2013

pothead philosophers

Someones who get drunk and stoned and engage in heavy philosophical conversations with nothing to back up their opinions other than their primal sincerity.

We are just pothead philosophers with no type of studious background whatsoever.

by KImCobain March 12, 2015

Captain Phillips

When you slap your partner mid intercourse and proclaim "I am the captain now!" In the style of the popular Tom Hanks film Captain Phillips.

"Bang! I am the captain now!" - Captain Phillips
"John pulled the old Captain Philips on me last night! He really is the captain" - Captain Phillips
"Wtf John?" I am the captain now!" - Captain Phillips

by Jimthesmiley January 12, 2016

Evan Phillips

Probably the coolest goon there is. You wanna be his friend so bad, but are too scared to talk to him. He is funny af and will steal yo girl.

“Yo, who’s that over there? He looks chill af.”
“Evan Phillips? Yeah don’t even try. He’s too cool for you.”

by evandagoon April 3, 2020

Toilet Philosopher Syndrome

Toilet Philosopher Syndrome (aka TPS) occurs randomly while a person is shitting for too long. The most common symptom is the realization that whether he flushes or not doesnt matter because in the end everything will cease to exist.
Other known effects include but not limited to : Questioning one's existence, reading the shampoo bottles ingredient list, and having an existential crisis.

-hey man u know why the hell is that guy taking so long to take a shit?
-idk may be he has Toilet Philosopher Syndrome

by BiteZaDusto August 17, 2021

Philosopher

The only kind of person that actually knows what he or she is talking about.

Psychiatrist: You need medication because I believe you are mentally ill.

Philosopher: All because you believe I'm mentally ill doesn't mean I am. Isn't it just as possible that you're mentally ill believing that I'm mentally ill without any real scientific evidence to back it up?

by Foolosopher84 January 25, 2011