Santa Claus

The only known person with immunity to diabetes and obesity-related death. He’s normally found in malls around Christmas time scaring the living crap out of children.

Timmy: How does Santa Claus get around so quickly with all those cookies in his tummy?

Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.

by Inferior April 22, 2020

Trump caused Covid

The bullshit idea that it's Trump's fault for COVID, not only ignoring the fact that recently the CDC discovered that only 6% of counted COVID deaths were actually COVID deaths, but the fact that it was due to the fact that many governors did things that Trump had no control over, such as the fact that Governor Cuomo sent old people to die in state nursing homes, deaths which helped cover up, while attacking Trump, and furthermore, Trump signed the largest stimulus bill in US history to help, oh and there's also the fact that overall, Trump had no effect on the decision of the state governments, considering that the US has a federal system where the states can decide for themselves what policies to have, so even Trump putting out guidelines still didn't mean that all governors had to follow them. Overall, everything is mainly reliant on the states.

Leftist dumbass: Trump caused Covid Haha Cuomo is such a good boy he should run for president he cares about covid and climate change and he stands up to Trump
Anyone with any IQ over room temperature: Did you know that Cuomo sent old people to die in New York nursing homes and also the fact that he helped cover up deaths afterwards? Oh and consider the fact that he shut down 2 reactors at the clean and powerful Indian point Nuclear power plant, as a result of which reliance on carbon dioxide emitting natural gas increased.

Leftist dumbass: (AOL noises) Orange man bad! He is literally *Insert average movie dictator* and we are *Insert generic hollywood rebel* !

by Gaylordgangster69 September 16, 2020

sara claus

sara killed santa and she is gangster as fuck she stole all the presents and has the elf’s as slaves.

did you hear about Bryce he pulled a real sara claus

by sara Claus November 12, 2020

Santa Claus

When she suck your sac

Wife: want a Santa Claus

by Ksieatsmybumbum November 17, 2020

santa claus

that guy on to cath a predator who always gets away

chris hansen: aw man i wanna catch santa claus but hes too fast

by mr binoculars December 15, 2020

Santa Claus

1. A physics lawbraker, home invader, stalker, reindeer enslaver, pedophile old man who wears red, white and black colors and lives in a low temperature place located at the north pole of the planet, called by the Terrans, Earth, whose commemorative date was given to him for committing serious crimes in relation to the physics and human rights, becoming the host of what was once the supposed birth of Jesus, in December 25th on the Christian Calendar. He gives gifts to all children, but only to those who celebrate Christmas, which is unfair, and he also lives surrounded by elves who create children's gifts, but receive no salary, being victims of slavery. It enters houses by its chimneys and, in a mysterious way, it enters apartments and houses that do not have chimneys, leaving gifts under the Christmas trees, for the good kids who haven't misbehaved for 364 or 365 in a row, from December 26th to December 24th of the next year. His myths are many and his origin unknown.

2. A big, fat man with a long beard, wears mostly red cotton clothes, black leather boots, black gloves and a black belt, plus a red hat.

1. Santa Claus is coming to leave gifts because you behaved all year!

2. Santa Claus is not real.

3. You behaved so badly this year that Santa Claus won't even give you coal!

by Clear Gram December 29, 2020

Cosmic causeway

A highway in space made for traveling unprecedented speeds.

Hop on the cosmic causeway to get to Sagittarius B

by Campbell Adam Rhys January 3, 2021