Cellular Masturbation

A person who plays on their cellphone while on the toilet
I think there is cellular masturbation going on in the stall over because he is laughing for no reason whatsoever.
by jondich February 1, 2021
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Masturbate

When you are so depressed that it's your only way of escape. Sure you can get pleasure from it, but it's temporary. And then you get even more depressed. Like cigarettes, It begins as a very fun and new and exciting process, given that you just discovered your puberty. But over the years, you just get tired of it.

You get tired over it and want to stop this once and for all. But you can't. You can't because it's just so addicting. It's basically self harm but a lot, lot less painful and harmful. But its still tiring. You can't stop. You regret ever starting it. But it's your only way of escape, from all your pain, suffering, and tiredness. Ever time you masturbate, you feel absolutely ashamed, pathetic, miserable and like an absolute piece of shit.

You start by feeling horny as fuck, either you probably open p*rn or just create pictures in your head of whatever fetish you have. I mostly have a fetish of female neck movement, and (partly) NATURAL and NOT FORCED female hiccups and burps. Enough of that. After that you hold your cock or shove in pussy (depends if you're a boy or girl. I am of the former.) And then you pleasure yourself as if you're having sex, but you actually don't. Many use lubricants like lotion or oil, or soap when you're in shower. but I personally prefer dry. I mostly masturbate during shower and before sleep. It's shitty, really.
Corbin: *goes to sleepover and can't masturbate*
Corbin: "guess I won't sleep today. I really need to masturbate. But I don't wanna. Man, my life just keep getting shitter."
by Joshua Joestar (MvN) June 20, 2022
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Masturbation

The only thing that makes me feel alive.
Masturbation time!
by Hitmantheman February 1, 2024
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Masturbation friend

Because you don't masturbate with normal friends... that would be weird
Yesterday I had a great evening with my masturbation friends
by Jonhspyro December 22, 2019
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masturbate

John: Damn I wanna masturbate to Mia Khalifa!!
by I LIKE BIG BUTTS !!! May 7, 2025
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masturbed

the feeling of being disturbed while walking in on someone masturbating
just walked in on trevor beating his meat, i’m masturbed.
by anonymous July 19, 2022
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joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.
Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.
by MegaP143 May 29, 2017
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