Reading the Newspaper

Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.

Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!

Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!

Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..

by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008

read

One that ruins a joke, repeats a joke continual times

"A curtis read"

by Johnathan Nicolichuk February 23, 2004

Reva

Reva
Lower stomach; female: below breast and above vagina; male: below pecs and above penis. Comes from the Greek word ravah, which means one with big stomach.
Revaed
Past-tense of touching the reva.
Reva- Female, Revis- Male
Revaing
Rubbing of the reva.
Revasting
Rubbing of the orifice located on the reva(A.K.A- the belly button).
Revastaring
Engaging of sexual motions on the reva.

I touched her reva, and felt her baby kick.

by Bob and Jack October 6, 2004

Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.

Man, go read grandma a bed time story.

by DIE May 28, 2003

Readergasm

What happens when two deaf people cohabitate

Chaim Readergasmed when she removed her hearing aid.

by Danny February 17, 2004

shy, bi and ready to cry

Someone who is announcing that they are shy, bisexual and needs lots of pity points

Tumblr special snowflake: I am shy, bi and ready to cry
Imaginary reader: Please god NO! And how brave of you to say that you're bisexual and being shy on top of that!

by Toilet896 July 31, 2016

readeface

someone who can't open their eyes when they smile

Man, Reade always has to close his eyes when he laughs...we should call him a readeface.

by Juan February 4, 2004