Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias

She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...

by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024

micro-masturbating

Where you delay climax and extend your sexual endurance by tightening your pelvic muscles, it's a way of edging found on TikTok recently.

He has been micro-masturbating for three hours straight.

by ardakirca March 14, 2025

Anti-Masturbation Cross

An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.

John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.

by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021

Masturbating

What you were trying to do when your Mom caught you.

Chad were you masturbating?
No Mom my pants just slipped down and I was pulling them up!

by Squidbob October 12, 2021

Masturbation

What 100% of men do and can’t go more than two days without doing it.
What 50% of women do while the other 50 never even has the desire to do...

Masturbation is the polite way of saying that you fucked yourself.

by Biden is a dick April 21, 2021

masturbation meditation

A deep state of mind that allows you to cum with nothing touching your dick/vagina.

Masturbation meditation

by Reagulayte January 3, 2020

Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.

Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.

by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 7, 2024