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wank-rolling

The out-of-game act of rolling dice to resolve the abilities of your RPG character in imagined hypothetical scenarios. Poor rolls are disregarded as “that wouldn’t” happen, while good rolls grant a fleeting feeling of success. The act inevitably leaves one tapped out and unsatisfied.

Also applies to “testing” your Smashammer Space Marine Captain vs. any number of Xenos elite units.
“After my Wizard learned Fireball, I spent the whole week-end wank-rolling him wiping out orc lairs! I’m so pumped for tonight’s game, I could cast a Fireball RIGHT NOW!”
by Vague Wisdom January 25, 2019
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Zombie wank

When put your hand in a bucket of ice for 15 minutes and have and wank
I got so bored the other day, that I got the ice bucket and had a zombie wank
by Crimpingshrimp November 8, 2018
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global wanking

Our esteemed new President is denouncing global warning and will be completely screwing the planet, reversing any progress made to date on addressing Global Warming, climate change while building walls to keep the bad hombres out.
Rich: I need to get more sunscreen.
Tom: Why?
Rich: Brace yourself, President Trump is gearing up for a very big (or if the hands are any indicator, tiny) round of Global Wanking, pissing on our allies and accelerating climate change and global warming!
by JFed January 29, 2017
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Wank Cabbage

A way to refer to a complete and utter numskull. Has the abbreviation WC.
Boy: I shot the Sherrif.
Boy's friend: You absolute wank cabbage! Now the deputy will be after us. Twat.
by finalerock44 January 11, 2021
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Yank-Wank

The AMERICAN WAY of jerking off!
Wanking while looking at that sexy flag.
HOOKER: Hi there, wanna fuck? It's only 40 dollers!
AMERICAN PATRIOT: Hell no, i got that beautiful flag i can look at instead, i am gonna yank-wank! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!
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bags wank

When a girl who’s got bags under her eyes, wraps her bags around your cock and then wanks you off.

Pretty self explanatory Teddy
“I’m gonna give him a bags wank tonight, a nice surprise.”
by K-nicks October 21, 2019
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Wank Wand

I would love Emma Watson to handle my Wank Wand
by Lenny15Prez II January 8, 2013
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