English is a Northern European language, part of the West-Germanic language family, making it most closely related to German and Dutch, and also related to some Nordic languages like Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian. It is best known for its extremely complicated and inconsistent methods of spelling and pronunciation, often confusing both native and non-native speakers whenever they encounter new words.
Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it?
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe,
Hear me say devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
...
(You'll have to look up the rest of the poem, due to the character limit of the Urban Dictionary.
Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it?
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe,
Hear me say devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
...
(You'll have to look up the rest of the poem, due to the character limit of the Urban Dictionary.
To any ESL readers out there, if you can read this poem out loud, and pronounce every word correctly, your English language skills are better than the majority of native speakers.
by This is my handle okay September 8, 2025
Get the Englishmug. Person 1: Man my English sucks
Person 2: Just send a pic of your titties to Dalton, automatic English enhancer
Person 2: Just send a pic of your titties to Dalton, automatic English enhancer
by Swellboi January 29, 2022
Get the English Enhancermug. A moroccan slang that means to stop saying bad moroccan words like: zabi(dick),weld l9a7ba(son of a bitch)....
by FreeBoi931 December 3, 2020
Get the Englishmug. by travis scooter October 25, 2023
Get the English Language Schoolmug. When your having sex with a women, and your going hard without a condom, you then cum, while remaining completely oblivious.
"Dude, I think I might be a father."
"How can you tell?"
"I think I may of pulled an English Snowball on that hot construction worker last night, she was wayyy more wet than usual."
"How can you tell?"
"I think I may of pulled an English Snowball on that hot construction worker last night, she was wayyy more wet than usual."
by IFeelSick:( February 26, 2020
Get the English Snowballmug. by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian April 29, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>Raigeki AresesisaTotoT "'What'" From Likarian To English And Spanish<.7.9.7.6.>mug. by 0nTh3Sp0t October 12, 2021
Get the English Teabaggingmug.