New Jersey Blumpkin Patch

When a person giving an upper deckie is receiving a blumpkin from another person taking a shit in the toilet.

Person 1: what you get up to last night?

Person 2: I walked in on Erik and Walter doing a New Jersey Blumpkin Patch in the upstairs bathroom at work.

Person 1: Not a NJBP!! That shit crazy!!!

by LazerCat July 17, 2025

Blue collar blumpkin

A blumpkin preformed in the porta-poty of a job site on work hours.

“Hey larry sure is working better than he was before lunch”

“You havent herd? He got a blue collar blumpkin from sarah”

by Rubnutt March 7, 2026

Alpha Zombie Blumpkin

A blumpkin that is given and or received from a very large and hairy man with three legs that looks like the Alpha Zombie from the 2024 film: 28 Years Later

Friend 1: Yo I got a blumpkin from that dude down the street, fucker was the hairiest dude I've ever seen.
Friend 2: Oh yeah that's... great dude.
Friend 1: It was like getting a blumpkin from the Alpha Zombie from 28 Years later, like an Alpha Zombie Blumpkin!
Friend 2: Yeah genuinely stay the fuck away from me and my family.

by FroggerTheRIbbit October 19, 2025

Fifi Blucus Blumpkin

A twist on the traditional blumpkin, the user replaces a women with his fifi in order to stimulate himself while shitting, and continuously edges until his balls turn blue. At the end, as he is about to bust, he screams Blucus!! and explodes.

It's been a rough day of spartan training, I think I'll give myself a fifi blucus blumpkin.

by Fragrance Fag January 9, 2026

Super Duper Mega Bowl Volcano Blue Bearded Blumpkin

This requires 3 people. The first person is laying on the floor of a porta potty with porta potty juices in their mouth. The second person poops in the first person's mouth while receiving a blowjob from the third person. The poop splashes on the first persons face. The third person also pukes on the second person's penis. Either the second or third person smears the poop on the first person's face like football facepaint.

"Babe you want a Super Duper Mega Bowl Volcano Blue Bearded Blumpkin with my brother?"

"Yes!"

by SkibidiLomas May 1, 2024

Upper Dutch Blumkin

the combination of an

Upper Decker (Pooping in the tank)
Dutch Oven (Farting - then pulling the covers over your partner's head)
and a Blumkin (Getting a blowjob while taking a dump)

In other words - Pooping in the tank while getting a blowjob with a towel over the blowjob giver's head

this is a class move - only performed at major burns (like Burning Man) or in Northern Virginia to settle a blood feud

I thought it was just an upper decker - but the fucker left a picture of my Mom giving him an upper dutch blumkin

by karnakdave July 28, 2011

blumpkinitis

facial rash or irritation caused by performing excessive amounts of blumpkins

It looks like Mary has another bad case of blumpkinitis.

by Bendover2x2 January 23, 2009