Hung Like A Turtle

When your dick is half the length of your body!

Leonardo hurt all the girls because he was hung like a turtle! Even the foxes are scared of him!

by WhoDatFreshBoi March 30, 2017

turtled

To be so completely drunk that once fallen over and are lying on the ground, one cannot pick themselves up and requires help,akin to a turtle which is helpless when placed upside down on its back

megan was completly turtled last night she ended up in hospital and had to be pumped

by tonymush November 15, 2010

Turtle

girls that are extremely scared of traveling to new york city for a fun night of free transportation, alcohol and high profile parties at some of the best places in new york. they will go back into their shell like turtles after being invited or asking to come hours before.

(John) Hey do you wanna go out to new york city with free bottles and table service at a club with jay-z, beyonce, reggie bush, drake, and other celebrities?

(Jane) yea sounds good let me know

four hours later....

( John) ok were getting ready to leave ru coming?

No response by text or phone and can later be found at a local dive bar.

(John) damn turtles

by Thuggish Ruggish bonezzz March 23, 2010

Turtle Whore

Women who tease excesivly but are slower than old people fucking to give out.

Katie is such a Turtle Whore

by Rawr Cookie February 15, 2006

Philadelphia Turtleneck

Pulling a woman's neckfat up into a style similar to a turtleneck, then fucking her neckfat using philadelphia cream cheese as lube.

I gave that bitch the Philadelphia Turtleneck last night.

by xTheCrowingx May 12, 2009

Jade Turtle

A Jade Turtle is special sex act performed on a man provided at an Asian massage parlor. The masseuse, dripping a small amount of oil onto the mans flaccid penis, gently squeezes the foreskin over the head, pinching it loosely with thumb and forefinger. The opposite hand then tickles the balls or nipples until the penis becomes erect, pushing and poking out of the foreskin like a curious turtles head.

'Man, I stopped at this Asian Massage parlor last week, and before I got my happy ending, the masseuse gave me a Jade Turtle!"

by Dr Knob September 24, 2010

turtlehead

When you cna't hold a cramp anymore and the very tip of it comes out like a turtlehead"

"I need a bathroom, like now, it's turtleheading."

by ammre August 31, 2003