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masturbate

A man grabs his dick and strokes back and forward to pleasure himself
by 2swagggrrr November 5, 2021
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masturbed

the feeling of being disturbed while walking in on someone masturbating
just walked in on trevor beating his meat, i’m masturbed.
by anonymous July 19, 2022
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Masturbation

The activity of mastering how to bait a fish. /s
Jim: Hey Johnny, I'm going to the lake to masturbate, care to join me?
Johnny: Hell yeah Him, let's go masturbate together.
Jim: Great! Can't wait to get better with my masturbation!
by The Takahashi Brothers August 27, 2021
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Self-masturbation

1. When someone performs the act of masturbation on themselves.

2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.

This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.
1. John performed a little self-masturbation when he got home to relax.

2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.
by TaxiFred November 18, 2023
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whiteboard masturbation

A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.

This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.

While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
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Masturbating

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*
by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020
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