A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
Edward Cullen: Say it, Say it out loud.
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
by l3itchesGetStitches June 14, 2011
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by Arty & Tommy January 25, 2004
Get the Edward and Kenneth Norton mug.A "guy" (so "he" says) who goes to Pistor Middle School who is gay. Always seen with a shitload of "his" girlfriends, but not in a straight kind of way. Looks like big-ass headed lizard who was fucked up in the ass-hole of Elton John. Infact, he really has been up there. If compered to Elton John, Elton John will actually look straight. Hangs out with Norma Garcia, and Mercedes Madrid: who are also gay.
by ICC March 29, 2005
Get the Edward Castro mug.Leader of the fastly growing street gang MS-13. Eddie "Speddy" DeJesus has been working his way up the ranks of MS-13 for some time now...and has just been listed Number 1 on every states most wanted list in the country. Known Alias' "Big E" "Fast Eddie" and "Spedward DeRetard".
by Ballbag Superfan December 20, 2008
Get the Edward DeJesus mug.Hot, sparkling vampire is in love with Bella Swan. Every girl either wants him or hates him because they cannot have him.
by edwardobsesssed November 17, 2009
Get the Edward Cullen mug.by Nope hello skeletron July 13, 2018
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