"It's so quiet in the office! Are you listening to selfish music again?"
"Yep."
"Well, I don't want to work in silence. I'll turn on some of my own, too!"
"Yep."
"Well, I don't want to work in silence. I'll turn on some of my own, too!"
by pricklypear2018 October 12, 2018
Get the selfish musicmug. A person who self-isolates from the COVID-19 pandemic only until it interferes with their social life.
Randy will only self-isolate from COVID-19 until it interferes with hooking up on Tinder or playing frisbee in the park. Dude is a total selfish-isolator.
by KokoSmall April 11, 2020
Get the Selfish-Isolatormug. a wild party, especially one involving excessive drinking and unrestrained indulgence & sexual activity. Featuring one male, with at least four consenting females-simultaneously. Oral, fingering, vagina, sometimes anal. Anything goes!
by 1-Ball August 7, 2022
Get the selfish orgymug. by Coolstorybro6969699696 November 4, 2011
Get the Selfish Walrusmug. Nah, you're the selfish one bitch.
Parent "Help me shield the child I deliberately subjected to reality... FROM THE REALITY TO WHICH I SUBJECTED THEM... Up to and including THE VERY THOUGHT of that reality... Until I no longer have dominion over them..."
Hym "Umm... And you're going to do what for me exactly?"
Parent "Huh? No, we're just doing my thing. You just help me curate reality around my kid up to and including the abstract elements of reality I don't want them to know about OR the gross parts I don't like and then I just do whatever I feel like doing."
Hym "You're using the word 'Help' a lot and it doesn't sound like you're willing to do anything to get me to do that."
Parent "You can't force me to help you. I only help people I feel like helping under the auspices of my subjective notion of deservedness."
Hym "I'm not seeing a reason for me to do any of that."
Parent "You have to do it or your a bad person."
Hym "I don't give a fuck about being a bad person. What I give a fuck about is not being beholden to someone to whom my life does not matter. Which I refuse to be. So, try again."
Parent "Help me shield the child I deliberately subjected to reality... FROM THE REALITY TO WHICH I SUBJECTED THEM... Up to and including THE VERY THOUGHT of that reality... Until I no longer have dominion over them..."
Hym "Umm... And you're going to do what for me exactly?"
Parent "Huh? No, we're just doing my thing. You just help me curate reality around my kid up to and including the abstract elements of reality I don't want them to know about OR the gross parts I don't like and then I just do whatever I feel like doing."
Hym "You're using the word 'Help' a lot and it doesn't sound like you're willing to do anything to get me to do that."
Parent "You can't force me to help you. I only help people I feel like helping under the auspices of my subjective notion of deservedness."
Hym "I'm not seeing a reason for me to do any of that."
Parent "You have to do it or your a bad person."
Hym "I don't give a fuck about being a bad person. What I give a fuck about is not being beholden to someone to whom my life does not matter. Which I refuse to be. So, try again."
Parent "Look, the greatest pleasure in life is having dominion over something that can't tell you no. So, I NEED to extend that abstract authority beyond my children so that my kids grow up in reality as I want it to be. Rather than how it actually is. And I can't do that if you have autonomy over your own mind and/or person. So I need you to agree to value my conceptualization of how reality SHOULD be... Potentially over your own... And then do that... In exchange for nothing... Or I'm going to find a way to force you... Socially or otherwise..."
Hym "That sounds like 'Live in service of my kids in exchange for nothing or I'll kill you.' That sounds like a threat."
Parent "I'm a good person."
Hym "And what stops me from removing the impetus for you to have authority over my behavior? Manually? What stops me from refusing to participate?"
Parent "I'll kill you."
Hym "So... Help you protect your kids. For free. Or you'll kill me?"
Parent "Yes."
Hym "No... No. You can go fuck your kids. Right in the face. You're actually statistically more likely to fuck your kids than I am. Fuck yourself. Fuck theirself."
Parent "God, you're selfish! You should want to ameliorate the consequences of my choices and/or accidents!"
Hym "That sounds like 'Live in service of my kids in exchange for nothing or I'll kill you.' That sounds like a threat."
Parent "I'm a good person."
Hym "And what stops me from removing the impetus for you to have authority over my behavior? Manually? What stops me from refusing to participate?"
Parent "I'll kill you."
Hym "So... Help you protect your kids. For free. Or you'll kill me?"
Parent "Yes."
Hym "No... No. You can go fuck your kids. Right in the face. You're actually statistically more likely to fuck your kids than I am. Fuck yourself. Fuck theirself."
Parent "God, you're selfish! You should want to ameliorate the consequences of my choices and/or accidents!"
by Hym Iam September 26, 2023
Get the Selfishmug. “i’m mad at you because i broke up with you and you slept with someone”
“you’re being a selfish cunt”
“you’re being a selfish cunt”
by robious middle school February 15, 2025
Get the selfish cuntmug. Ashley got mad at Logan for not picking her up on time so she decided to not give him gas money and be sensitive selfish for the trip to Vegas!!!!
by Logan Jugg August 4, 2021
Get the Sensitive Selfishmug.