A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.
Guy 1: " Bromeo have you heard from Tony B"
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."
by dslice1234 January 2, 2012
Get the Guido mug.A guido cheeto is simply, A GUIDO (an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette.) that spray tans much which makes them ORANGE... In-turn... Guido Cheeto!
Look at that Guido Cheeto on the boardwalk... He clearly needs to take a break from the spray tan....
by AndreaAK-47 July 25, 2011
Get the Guido Cheeto mug.Related Words
Proper noun. A guttural dialect spoken largely in Italian-American neighborhoods or at the Jersey Shore by Italian-Americans, largely a combination of stock phrases like fuhgeddaboudit and malpronounced Italian words (i.e. gabbagool for "capocollo") that are passed off as being true Italian. A subset of English that makes real Italians cringe.
(A sample sentence of Guidonics below)
Vinnie: "Ey yo, youse wanna come over for dinner? My mom's making macaronis wit gravy."
Vinnie: "Ey yo, youse wanna come over for dinner? My mom's making macaronis wit gravy."
by The Gob o' Ghouls January 11, 2013
Get the Guidonics mug.Deniz: Guiiii
Girl #1: No, ew...
Deniz: Guiiii
Girl #2: Guiiii Guiiii
*2 days later girl #2 unguiiii's Deniz*
Girl #1: No, ew...
Deniz: Guiiii
Girl #2: Guiiii Guiiii
*2 days later girl #2 unguiiii's Deniz*
by Guiiii November 28, 2016
Get the Guiiii mug.The Guido dressed in all white seen near the end of Titanic. He stays with Jack and Rose till the ship sinks. You can see him zoomed all the way out standing on top of the boat. He is a BEAST!
by BOSSMANDREW September 16, 2010
Get the Titanic Guido mug.Being one from the Tri-State area, I can confirm that a Guido is a piss poor excuse for an Italian-American selling out his culture, country, and way of life. \
Commonly seen in trendy clubs/dive bars looking like half-a-fag with slicked up hair, shirts two sizes too small, popped-collars, ripped/tight jeans, and whatever else is trendy at the time, they are often dancing in the middle of the floor like a jackass while all the regular people point and laugh.
In said habitats, they are often seen drinking bitch drinks with cute umbrellas that are various colors of the rainbow, undoubtedly symbolizing their homosexuality.
Also can be described as a douchebag, among other various insults, that has an inflated sense of self worth, compounded by the IQ of someone that is legally retarded, behaving like a complete jackass in public at all times no matter how fucking retarded he may appear.
A fake, peice of shit looking bronze tan is commonly seen on these poor excuses of a human being, which adds to their ridiculous image that makes my life a hell of a lot more bearable.
Always seen in a gym, these jacked up guys actually have the balls the size of peanuts. Unable to fight a fight on their own, the rely on the fact that they travel in packs in order to intimidate those around them. When seen on their own, flight usually takes precedence when faced with a physical altercation.
If you seen one of these creatures in the wild, take cover, take pictures, and laugh. The most pathetic thing about these kids is that they actually take themselves seriously.
Commonly seen in trendy clubs/dive bars looking like half-a-fag with slicked up hair, shirts two sizes too small, popped-collars, ripped/tight jeans, and whatever else is trendy at the time, they are often dancing in the middle of the floor like a jackass while all the regular people point and laugh.
In said habitats, they are often seen drinking bitch drinks with cute umbrellas that are various colors of the rainbow, undoubtedly symbolizing their homosexuality.
Also can be described as a douchebag, among other various insults, that has an inflated sense of self worth, compounded by the IQ of someone that is legally retarded, behaving like a complete jackass in public at all times no matter how fucking retarded he may appear.
A fake, peice of shit looking bronze tan is commonly seen on these poor excuses of a human being, which adds to their ridiculous image that makes my life a hell of a lot more bearable.
Always seen in a gym, these jacked up guys actually have the balls the size of peanuts. Unable to fight a fight on their own, the rely on the fact that they travel in packs in order to intimidate those around them. When seen on their own, flight usually takes precedence when faced with a physical altercation.
If you seen one of these creatures in the wild, take cover, take pictures, and laugh. The most pathetic thing about these kids is that they actually take themselves seriously.
by JasonMB September 20, 2006
Get the guido mug.After many long, hard years of perfecting the legendary hairstyle with gallons of gel, consecutively tanning to reach expected standards, pumping iron until each chisel of every muscle visibly shows through your one-size-too-small-for-your-now-jacked-body ghinny tee, and, obviously, mastering the infamous fist pump so that each pump is in sync with the rhythm of the beats blasting through the walls of Sound Factory, you start to realize that you’re 28 years old and you’ve reached, exceeded and then over-exceeded any expectations that were put in front of you that day in high school when you decided to take on such an exuberating challenge and now you have nothing more to live for since you’ve devoted so much blood, sweat and tears into perfecting your distinguished way of life, so you opt for that other way of life that everyone else in the world has decided to choose.
Guido: Yo bro, im feelin good tonite bro. We gota juice up nice n get ta da club. Me n you, bro, wea gona bang mad bitches at the club, u kno wa im sayin?
Recovering Guido: I’m sorry, Tony. I can’t. I’ve been guido-free for 10 months now and my guidos anonymous leader says I’m doing real good. Sometimes I get the urge to buy more hair gel, but that’s not what’s affecting me the most. It’s when the beats start playing in my head over and over and all I want to do is pump my fucking fist so hard in the air. It’s so hard Tony. I’m learning to take deep breaths and breathe though, this normal way of life isn’t that bad after all. You should try it too.
Guido: Wack, bro.
Recovering Guido: I’m sorry, Tony. I can’t. I’ve been guido-free for 10 months now and my guidos anonymous leader says I’m doing real good. Sometimes I get the urge to buy more hair gel, but that’s not what’s affecting me the most. It’s when the beats start playing in my head over and over and all I want to do is pump my fucking fist so hard in the air. It’s so hard Tony. I’m learning to take deep breaths and breathe though, this normal way of life isn’t that bad after all. You should try it too.
Guido: Wack, bro.
by a lion. December 4, 2009
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