ice cube's chance in hell

There is no way something is going to happen

You don't have an ice cube's chance in hell of fuckin that girl!

by Pudekcuf December 22, 2008

Chance

1. LUCK
2. Awsome name for awsome kids

1. It's all up to chance.
2. Chance is one cool kid

by Mr. Chance May 6, 2006

chancer

British slang for a scheming opportunist. Usually, it means someone who acts "kind" and takes advantage of a situation and manipulates said individual(s), without their consent. And later exploits it for their own gain.

The American term is: opportunist or swooper

The Polish female immigrant chancer married the rich English noble in hoping that she would later rake in billions of his pounds. Then divorced him and took at least half of his money.

See: gold-digger

by Sturmgewehr Poltergeist June 23, 2016

More chance of shitting in the queens handbag

There is a very slim possibility the task you would like to perform, will be completed satisfactory.

"Breeding Mongolian Traffic wardens with a hybrid Bagder to create a kung fu red blooded super race?!" -

"You got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag!"

by Professional Biscuit Thief December 10, 2009

OH, SPEAK TO ME OL' TOOTHLESS WONDER. YOUR VOICE HAS CHANGED, BUT YOUR BREATH STILL SMELLS THE SAME.

what you say to somebody who has just flatulated.

by weave March 26, 2003

Vice-Chancellor

Lying, two-faced, duplicitous cunt who is the chief executive of a British university.

The Vice-Chancellor argued to the government that students should be charged tuition fees in order to pay academic staff an appropriate salary, but then, when the fees arrived and the academic staff asked for a pay rise, he discovered that academic staff were actually very well paid indeed and in any case all the new money had already been spent, so academic staff could just go fuck themselves, while he awarded himself a 25% pay rise in recognition of his own outstanding talents.

by Happy lemming September 3, 2008

When you get a chance

Nice way of telling someone you want something done NOW.

Person 1: Hey, when you get a chance, can you do the dishes.

Person 2: Yeah, but I don't think I'll have a chance until next week.

by Eudaimonia February 23, 2011