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the household maid witnessed it all

A less-than-well-known joke about Fereydoon's stalker (the household maid) from the game Wild ARMs 5. The "household maid" is a creepy woman who watched (or "witnessed", as she says) Fereydoon and Lucille spending some "quality time" with each other, and tells the person playing the game all about it. It's an easter egg, so very few people who have played the game actually know about it.

Outside of the WA5 cult, this phrase can be used to cause awkward silences.
Original Phrase: I witnessed it all... Fereydoon the Sentinel and a maid from Lady Diana's mansion, having tea and getting VERY cozy with each other...

Example of use in real life:

Mom: What were you doing up there with your girlfriend?

Your older brother: Uh...watching a movie?

Your younger sister, who was in the other room and heard it all: The household maid witnessed it all.
by zolo1243 December 16, 2008
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Bingering the witness

An inane line of questioning used in court proceeding with the intent of irritating the witness into reacting in an inappropriate way.
by mikkedj November 12, 2021
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jahova's witness

Do your job Spike! The jahova's witnesses are here again!
by ShaneV January 6, 2008
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Fair Witness

Fair Witness is a fictional profession invented by Robert Heinlein. (Stranger in a Strange Land)

A Fair Witness is an individual trained to observe events and report exactly what he or she sees and hears, making no extrapolations or assumptions. An eidetic memory is a prerequisite for the job, although this may be attainable with suitable training.

In Heinlein's society, a Fair Witness is a highly reputable source of information. By custom, a Fair Witness acting professionally, generally wearing distinctive white robes, is never addressed directly, and is never acknowledged by anyone present.

While Fair Witnesses may hold jobs, at all times they must honor the traditions of the Fair Witness and do their best to avoid any possibility of bias when wearing the robes and repeating the truth of what they have seen, done or heard.

Fair Witnesses are prohibited from drawing conclusions about what they observe. As a demonstration, in the novel a Fair Witness was asked to describe the color of a house in the distance. She responds, "It's white on this side"; whereupon Heinlein explains that she would not assume knowledge of the color of the other sides of the house without being able to see them. Furthermore, after observing another side of the house she would not then assume that any previously seen side was still the same color as last reported, even if only minutes before.
You can trust what he says. He's the closest thing to a "fair witness" of anybody I've ever known.
by Deacon John Hubertz April 18, 2018
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Jebrovah's Witness

One who adheres strictly to the Bro Code and preaches door to door from the Book of Brob.
Dude, Kyle keeps trying to get me to join Sigma Phi. He's such a Jebrovah's Witness.
by NilBilly April 8, 2010
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witness the thickness

Bearing witness to a particularly pleasant ass, which is both fit and capable of strenous activity.
Damn Holmes, witness the thickness!
(As a woman with an attractive rear end walks by.)
Indeed Watson, quite an assadocious young lady...
by emilygoo July 27, 2006
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witness the litness

You're about to experience something amazing! Something spectacular! Something so lit that your mind will be blown and shattered! Witness the Litness is basically when a dude thinks everything is "lit" or cool/badass and wants to show the whole world what he has. It can be a trick, a flip, something like video, something inside his pants or her pants lol Witness the Litness is an experience. Embrace it. Accept it. Cuz remember, everybody is a candle, but not everybody is lit.
"Okay Eber, you're about to witness the litness as i try to do some stupid shit. Lets hope i don't die and that it stays lit."
by FerCatchTheseHands February 11, 2017
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