Not today Satan, not today. 

"Not today Satan, not today," comes from the show RuPaul's Drag Race, and was said by season 6's winner Bianca Del Rio who served us some clown realness. The meaning means the devil a.k.a. Satan will not get in your way today.

"I was wondering if you were going to turn out a look that we haven't already seen before?" Said Courtney Act

" Not today Satan, not today." said Bianca Del Rio

Not today Satan, not today. by Officialextazy January 18, 2015

How Are You Doing Today? 

I'm doing good, thank you for asking. How are you doing today?

I just asked you, "How Are You Doing Today?".

How Are You Doing Today? by Goofy Goober Boi February 26, 2020

I grew a cabbage today 

The most random thing you can ever say to someone to start a conversation. There is only one correct answer to this statement.

Bob: I grew a cabbage today!

Tim: I love you.

I grew a cabbage today by jackoff to a fish July 13, 2009

Not today

A phrase about the God of Death. often spoken By Arya Stark Lady of Winterfell in times of hardship.

Not today Night king

There is only one God

and his is name is Death.

And there is only one thing

we say to Death.

“Not today”

Not today by NotTodayNK May 1, 2019

Not Today *cough*

Calling in sick at the last second before you need to report. The cough at the end is an poor attempt to fake sick.

Good morning Intertek how can i direct your call.

Nancy its Bryce I know work starts in 30 seconds but Not today *Cough* I'm sick.

Not Today *cough* by The Blue Falcon September 9, 2009

I pooped today 

This means that you had excriment leave your anus.

I just sat on the toilet and I pooped today. I also Tweeted about it.

I pooped today by Smitty134 May 5, 2011

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today

"I'd like you to lend me some money"

Etymology is from the cartoon "Popeye", where the character Wimpy would frequently utter this phrase. He was a glutton, and would consume burgers at a ferocious rate but could rarely pay for his habit.

The phrase implies the underlying feeling that the person will unlikely actually pay for the hamburger (or whatever) on Tuesday (or ever, for that matter.

I told my bank that I'd gladly 'pay them tuesday for a hamburger today' to buy that new sportscar, but they wouldn't approve me.

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today by Don Engel May 17, 2004