intellectual masturbation

Fascinating intellectual breakthroughs regarding reality, language, existence, knowledge, perception, or human behavior which are completely unprovable and utterly without use, and therefore of no real consequence to anyone. See also: philosophy

Etymology: the mental counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but hasn't accomplished anything at the end.

The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis states that language influences human thought, so that native speakers of different languages think about concepts in incommensurably distinct modes. Linguists and psychologists contend fiercely over the validity of this claim, oblivious to the fact that it is intellectual masturbation.

by samd12345 August 6, 2007

corporate masturbation

Any blatant and/or pointless flaunting or exhibition of a company's name (e.g. naming a sports arena after the owner), or ridiculously obvious product placement with the capitalistic intent of selling more of said product.

Ted Rogers' renaming of the SkyDome to the Rogers Centre was clearly an act of corporate masturbation.

by jasonisjericho June 1, 2006

chronic masturbation

The ritualistic abuse of ones private parts. Prefering self pleasurement over actual intercourse. Foresaking all others over his personal desires. I.E. is willing to masturbate whenever and wherever said person (male or female), is at the specific moment and time.
(see- sexy loser)

Kid #1: "... Damnit Eric! You don't do that in the ball pit at McDonald's!!!"
Kid #2: "Screw you, cumchugger!!" FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP...

by Supermanchild January 2, 2004

Emotional masturbation

Watching extremely sad tv shows or movies, listening to extremely sad music, or thinking terribly sad thoughts to force yourself to cry as a release of built of sadness.

I watched Crash last night and cried for two hours because I had so much shit going on in my life I needed some emotional masturbation.

by Patrick Snipes October 9, 2008

brain masturbation

You take a thought provoking concept and decide to think extremely deeply about this particular concept. Something which often confuses most people or which has never been/cant be solved. The person thinks about and explores many areas of this concept to such an extent that they feel very mentally exhausted and also may experience a headache. In extreme circumstances epitaxis (a nose bleed) may occur. This can then be compared to the familiar term of wanking where sperm is ejactulated on pleasuring the penis - using the brain to extreme effect that blood is produced (sperm) = brain masturbation(wanking)

the concept of time zones - do you actually live longer if you move from one zone to another, depending on the zone and your place of birth - where brain masturbation originated from

what death feels like

afterlife

time stopping

by patrick3amnicole July 19, 2010

mastergaytion

(v) To have sex with your clone

Ever since people started getting their clones made, mastergaytion has taken the country by storm.

by lonelyisland February 19, 2009

Masturbationaful

When used as an adjective, this word means:
Something so beautiful/good that people genuinely start masturbating upon noticing the person/item that is "masturbationaful".

Man person 1:"Dude, did you see that masturbationaful new teacher at school?"
Man person 2:"Oh yeah, she made me rush to the bathroom 3 times today..."
Man person 1:"Dito!"

by SuperCuboneTripleX3 March 2, 2011