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99.9...% Sure

Sometimes people, when expressing how certain they are of something, say they are 99% sure of something. Oftentimes, however, they choose to add validity to their statement by adding 9s behind the decimal place, thinking that will prove their words to be truth beyond belief. We can create a scale of how sure a person actually is based upon the numbers of 9s behind the decimal in their percentage:

99.9% sure: 99.9% is absolutely rock-solid; a person who says they are 99.9% sure of something is presenting insight with undoubtable knowledge of the topic. This information can be counted on.

99.99% sure: 99.99% is still measurably accurate. Usually, 99.99% is reserved for situations in which there still remains room for unexpected events. This information can still be counted on, but watch out.

99.999% sure: 99.999% represents the beginning of a slippery slope of doubt. 99.999% generally is used for opinions or statements that cannot be backed with empirical evidence. Most people who frequently express political beliefs will say they are 99.999% sure of something. Be careful before believing someone who is 99.999% of something.

99.9999% sure: At this point, we cannot be completely sure of how positive someone is of something. If a person says they are 99.9999% sure of something, it is basically a 50/50 situation.

99.99999% sure: If a person says they are 99.99999% sure of something, they genuinely have no fucking clue what they are talking about.
99.9...% Sure:

Connor: I am 99.9% sure that the sun will rise tomorrow.

Daniel: I am 99.99% sure that the next Battlefield game will be kickass.

Evan: I am 99.999% sure that Dirk is a homosexual.

Dirk: I am 99.9999% sure that Evan has been raped in the shower.

Johnny: I am 99.99999% positive that Socialism will prevail.

Rebecca: I am 99.999999% certain that I was a cow yesterday and will be again tomorrow.
by Kickpuncher666 May 16, 2011
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99 slaps

The process of getting slapped (rejected) 99 times before a girl will say yes to a date.
Did you get your 99 slaps yet?
by TMP1R3 November 11, 2010
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Related Words
999 99 9999 99er 99-1 99 cent store .999999999~ 996 .99 99% sure

99 sierra

A Top Secret Army Military Occupational Specialty Code also known as The Army shamurai. unLike most samuris, a 99 sierra is considered one of the most laziest peaices of shit on the planet. sierra's are very proficient in the art of "shamming" known only to the trade. Some 99 sierra's have been rumored to have shammed out of thier own training. It should be understood that you will never encounter one, they are quick, and very silent.
that 99 sierra was a shamuri master
by gumby91 October 10, 2009
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99 Problems But a Bitch Aint One

Used in the case of someone who is a womaizer and is good with women but shit at everything else. fortunes fool when it comes to everything but women.

And to quote Jay-Z
Guy 1: " So Steve, Wha's Shakin' Baby?!Wha's Happenin'Anythin' Bad?"

Steve: "To quote Jay I got 99 Problems But a Bitch Aint One"
by wilfordicus May 19, 2009
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99 Luftballons

A cold war era protest song by German singer Nena. Commonly misspelled by English speakers as 99 Luftballoons. The song topped the charts at No. 1 in Germany and No 2. in the us.
George: I love that song 99 Luftballoons.

Elaine: It's spelled 99 Luftballons. There's only one 'o' in it, George.

To herself: Dumbass.
by TruPowers December 13, 2009
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99% free fat

- The opposite to 99% fat free.
- A fat chick usually with the following qualities:
a low self esteem
licentious
and very easy to snag
1:
Macdonald's fries are 99% free fat, so are the "30-cent-cones" which now cost 50 cents

2:
*in da club*
Bill: Look at that babe with her freind.
Mike: Damn! pity her freind is gelatin.
Bill: Take one for the team Mike, it's your turn.
Mike: OK, this wont be hard seeing as she is 99% free fat
Me: Word
by Blazin Hazen August 4, 2006
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.99 caliber

A firearm capable of decapitating an elephant with one shot.
Chuck Norris keeps a .99 caliber... INSIDE HIS REAL GUN.
by we found a problem January 4, 2009
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