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Post-Masturbation paralysis

The moment that last 10-15 seconds after masturbation when you are immobile because you are questioning the existence of everything or you just beat your meat to hard
Bro last night I beat my meat and I couldn't move afterwards

That's just the Post-Masturbation paralysis, it's normal
by Assaddition November 17, 2019
mugGet the Post-Masturbation paralysismug.

native masturbation

When you give an indian burn on your penis with hot sauce.
Hey Cesar, I', going to give myself a native masturbation.
by fuckyourdad101inthea$$ September 30, 2017
mugGet the native masturbationmug.

Masturbation

When ur lonely
Person one. “Damn i wish i had a partner
Person two. “ ur solution is masturbation
by Cohan the great... April 2, 2021
mugGet the Masturbationmug.

Self-masturbation

1. When someone performs the act of masturbation on themselves.

2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.

This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.
1. John performed a little self-masturbation when he got home to relax.

2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.
by TaxiFred November 18, 2023
mugGet the Self-masturbationmug.

masturbate

i assume you guys are here to get horny, so here!
sarah was home alone and extremely horny. she turned off her bedroom light and took her pants off. she was so excited to masturbate that she leaped in bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. she started to touch her breasts and her nipples got hard. she reached over on her nightstand and grabbed her laptop. in the search bar she typed "pornhub." once she got on the porn, she clicked threesome. sarah felt very aroused by the threesome on the screen that she started touching herself. she imagined that her crush, jacob was the one touching her. she slowly crept her finger into her hole and started aggressively rubbing in and out. she suddenly squirted everywhere, but kept touching herself. later that night, jacob came over and asked her to have sex. she agreed and she had another orgasm.
by you'rewelcome69storymaker March 31, 2023
mugGet the masturbatemug.

whiteboard masturbation

A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.

This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.

While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
mugGet the whiteboard masturbationmug.

Social Masturbator

A person providing social commentary aimed at enforcing said person's superior knowledge and ethos of current moral / values and that which is politically correct. Social mastrubators are often failed / undiscovered political journalists and band together on social media where the opportunity to point out where a politically incorrect view is raised.
That tweet brought out social masturbators in full force.
by AJ Nel January 20, 2016
mugGet the Social Masturbatormug.

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