When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

by Jinx (Name already Used) December 27, 2010

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.

Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.

by MegaP143 May 29, 2017

Masturbate

A game played with own toy to kill your sexual appetite.

"Jeez ..!! that THOT masturbating behind those bushes."

"Hey! can you tell me.. how it feels like to masturbate?"

by Silver Blake December 15, 2020

Poopy Fart Masturbation

The event in which one individual endures a stomach ache while attempting to masturbate.

John: "I had a Poopy Fart Masturbation happen to me last night."
Andrew: "Tf?"

by dick_pisser_765 March 26, 2021