wanking claw

Deformed hand used primarily for wanking. Can be used in many jokes.

Damian: What is happening over there
Thomas Kiely: Nothing, im just itchy
Everyone: No, He's masterbating
Louis: Wanking Claw!

by Tyler Williams June 18, 2006

work wank

2 conceivable scenarios

1) You’ve actually managed to ‘finish the internet’, so that desperate for something to do you think ‘fuck it, I’ll go for a wank’

2) You’ve got a hangover which would maim an elephant. You’ve just taken a dump who’s splash back made New Orleans look like a puddle. You really can’t face the 15 second walk back to your desk…. So you think ‘fuck it, I’ll have a wank’. Oh, and The release of endorphins cure the headache.

Jesus if I sit here any longer listening to that useless cunt jabbering on her mobile I think I might break something.

I'm going for a work wank.

by Disco October 21, 2005

danger wank

to crack one off at speed making sure you shoot your load before you get caught!

shouting for your mum whilst beating off!
wanking in an elevator in a multi story car park whilst on the way to the top floor!
beating off in your car while waiting for the lights to change to green!
all of the above must be done by every male in the world!

by mike March 19, 2004

Wank Bank

Search page on www.thankyourwank.com that allows you to look up anyone and "thank" them for thinking about them while masturbating!

I looked up Todd on thankyourwank.com Wank Bank and he had so many points on his Wank Balance! I couldn't resist and I added one more. Such a good wank!

by WankMistress July 11, 2011

Cresent Wank

when you lay youre favorite "material" out in an arc shape in front of youreself. you then precede to masterbate furiously, once you reach the point of no return you must chose which page is youre favorite and gift them youre donation.

i walked into pauls room last night, he was sitting on his bed surrounded by magazines having a cresent wank...

by harry axe wound March 9, 2009

Wank Muffin

Actually a Wank Muffin is an old term for a tasty female who gets you going so badly, you have to get a quick one off the wrist.

She`s a tasty Wank Muffin she is

by stu August 1, 2003

royal wank

To make a special occasion for a pulling of the pud.

Lee lit the red candles round the room, filled his last condom with cream and slapped his 18ft cock into it, enjoying the royal wank he'd planned for weeks.

by vinagan July 29, 2008