Jesus Tits

1. An expression that means "oh my gosh" or "holy cow." Usually used when one party surprises another.

2. A unit of measurement on the tit scale. A rating system for people and things.

1. Steve: Jesus tits! Did you see the way Randy lost that poker tournament???


2. Shea: What would you consider that girl? Is she anti-tit or just tits?

Mike: She is definitly Jesus tits.

by Bus36 January 29, 2006

raving with jesus

Overdosing on club drugs etc., therefore dying and going to heaven to roll with Jesus.

- I told Julie not to do that last line.
- It's OK, man. She's raving with Jesus now.

by hayzeussss January 7, 2011

Jesus Jail

Being trapped with your family because of a Christ-related holiday. Most typically Christmas.

Chris: "Hey, are we playing Halo tomorrow night?"
John: "I wish. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve so I'll be stuck in Jesus Jail."

by Clover101 January 23, 2011

Jesus Dick

Getting an erection after busting, and your penis "died" but rises again.

"Man, I had already came twice, but I looked at that booty again and got Jesus dick."

by TheLittleEngine October 28, 2015

Jesus Eyes

1) Eyes that are slightly glazed over and wide.
-Enlarged pupils but not red
-Could be mistaken as being on drugs.
-Usually associated with a blinding white smile.

2) Judgmental tolerance; superficial
-Tend to be flight attendants, members of choir groups and owner's of craft-stores.
-Support Prop 8, wear pearls and look like Stepford Wives.

Is she stoned or is she so fake that she has Jesus Eyes ?

by Al Harwin March 31, 2009

jesus swift

a good person (jesus) and a 🐍 (taylor swift)

"i'm sorry the old jesus swift can't come to the phone right now."

by youredisappointing August 31, 2017

Personal Jesus

1) Cool song originally done by Depeche Mode and covered by such people as Gravity Kills, Marilyn Manson, and Johnny Cash.

2) Someone to hear your prayers. Someone who cares

1) Personal Jesus is one of Depeche Mode's best known song

2) Pick up the receive, I'll make you a believer

by Gamblor October 23, 2004