Carpet

A very nice gent with a very nice muscular body. A good guy. Good cook. Loves touching men appropriately. Loves cookies.

O mon dier he is such a carpet. I need a penis.

by URBOISOMECOOLSHIPYANKUREAR December 16, 2019

Carpet

Just a lame individual, and you know what else? 90% of the time they are an npc.

Dude we just went up to our high school coach and he was basically none existent…. What a fucking carpet.

by SuDaniel of Queensberry July 31, 2022

carpet painter

people who dye or bleach their pubic hair

"Jane": Omg Sally is such a carpet painter...
"Jill": well everyone was calling her a bleach blonde so it only makes sense to match....

by atboggs September 16, 2012

Magic Carpet Ride

When you're a shemale and you ride your gurthy unicorn dildo as it’s suctioned to the yoga mat

Took a wild magic carpet ride after a long days worth of work at the SuperStore

by DickDurkley April 20, 2019

Vaginal red carpet

The “A-game” of one’s vagina. Rolling out all sex tricks during a 24 hour or less sexual romp.

She rolled out the vaginal red carpet on their first encounter, now he is groveling at her feet.

by Getoutkyle March 12, 2018

Carpet swimming

When your indoor pets scratch their nasty asshole on your carpet.

Forearms pulling while backlegs off the ground so b-hole is smack on carpet. Looks like pet is swimming when actually is just scratching or wiping its ass.

Oh fuck. Rover just went liquid and now he's carpet swimming across the living room!

by StinkyMinkey October 3, 2023

Sniff the carpet

Another way of saying someone is/has gone down on a woman.

Guy 1: Bro did Sniff the carpet last night?
Guy 2: Yeah.

by SolarFlare0202 February 8, 2021