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Crunchy Cat

Those who expect the Lord to show them mercy but refuse to extend mercy to anyone else. They would happily join a new Crusade if it didn't require them to move out of mommy's basement or give up World of Warcraft. They really are more Catholic than the Pope, especially since, in Crunchy World, there hasn't been a True Pope since 1958. The Crunchy contrasts with the soft Catholic. You know, the ones who think we owe a filial love to Christ's sweet Vicar on earth. There's no room for love in Crunchy World. He says love is for sissies. And modernists. Most of them hang out in the fever swamps of internet traddom, usually on RacistInfo or the forum with a fancy Latin name, the height of irony since Crunchies don't speak Latin. QED

Noted heroes of the Crunchy Cat include Adolf Hitler, Vladimir Putin, Tony Cekada and Dolph Lundgren. Generally known to drink to excess but only things like Mike's Hard Lemonade or Goldschlager. (Worst day of the Crunchy's life was when they stopped making Zima.) Also, the Crunchy loves lace. He prefers his priest to wear more lace than a Victoria's Secret catalog.

The Crunchy uses code words to display his cleverness, i.e. NewChurch, True Mass and Doubtful Validity. In this way, we all know what he means, but he doesn't have to say it. His fav color is pink, although he insists on calling it "rose."
Person 1: "That Joe sure is an uber trad!"
Brilliance Incarnate: "No he's not. He's a Crunchy!"
Person 1: "That term requires a greater understanding of the workings of your mind than I possess."

Crunchy Cat: "I'm outraged! That NO presider wore purple on Laetare Sunday!"
Normal Person: "Crunchtastic!"

Crunchy Cat: "Cardinal Burke is an arch-modernist."
Trad Cat: "That is a Crunchtacular statement."

Crunchy Cat: "Latin and lace will save the Church!"
Non-insane person: "ummmm.....wut?"

Crunchy Cat: "I'm leaving the Church if JPII is canonized!"
Trad Cat: "So what are you waiting for? Get out!"
by TradCat May 5, 2013
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crünk

A "cracker" way to say the word crunk. One who says this usually does not fit in and often sounds like a dork.
Golly gee wiz guys, this rapper of African-American descent is sure crünk!
by Sahara April 3, 2005
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Related Words
crunk crunchy crunch crunt crunked crunky crunk juice cruncher crunkle crunchie

crunkilicious

derivative of crunk; anything of or pertaining to Benjamin Darrington.
Look at Ben rocking that bling-- crunkilicious!
by K$ November 28, 2004
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Crunchwrap Blunt

How about I just give instructions...

1. Roll a blunt.
2. Prepare more ingredients to be rolled.
3. Break down another cigarillo.
4. Wet or lick the inside of the broken down cigarillo.
5. Press the wet side of the cigarillo against the prepared ingredients.
6. Wrap this cigarillo around the blunt in step 1 (put the ingredients against the rolled blunt).
by Follow me @Emphamatic January 11, 2012
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stomach crunchies

When a male blows his load on a females stomach and it dries.
Guy 1: My girlfriend let the cum dry on her stomach and it made a crunchy noise when she sat up.
Guy 2: My mom likes to call it stomach crunchies.
by forumssuck May 9, 2008
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Tomahawk Crunkmissle

A sexual position involving newspaper, a diaphragm, and a large penis. First you get the women to wear a diaphragm to avoid pregnancy. Then you lay newspaper all over her vaginal area. Then the male starts masturbating rapidly, and ejaculates all over the newspaper covered area. Right when the man ejaculates, he should shove his erected penis through the newspaper, and into the women's vagina. Afterwards, you clean up, and can now remove the diaphragm.
While complicated, completing the Tomahawk Crunkmissle is very rewarding.
by MetallicaFan69 June 8, 2009
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vajayjay crunch

When a woman's pants are so tight that the actually fabric comes into their vagina; a vaginal wedgie; AKA camel toe.
Irene: Man! I was experiencing a total vajayjay crunch yesterday when i squeezed into my little sister's pants.
by thisismygoddamnpseudonym July 20, 2010
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