Canada's History

A furry, buck-toothed rag you could wring for eternity and never squelch a drop of blood or semen. Formerly called "The Beaver." Flag modelled after the quintessential Canadian still life, "Politely Railing a Virgin From a Safe Distance!" See also, The Juices of My Labour.

When you throw Canada's History against the wall, you're lucky if you get hit with a lawsuit!

by Jimmy Kicks February 5, 2010

Canada's History

As Stephen Colbert says, "putting everything in there."

Canada's History, the most unimaginable sex act.

by sklop February 4, 2010

Canada's History

the act of penetrating the ear of a wild boar with an erect penis covered in the hot sauce known as sriracha

I enjoyed Canada's History while I was camping on the weekend

by rob savage February 4, 2010

Canada's History

What I'd like to do to Stephen Colbert.

Also known as 'The Aristocrats'.

"Stephen Colbert is so hot. I'd like to Canada's History him all night long.

by Henrietta Huggins VIII February 5, 2010

Canada's History

The act of dumping an entire jug of maple syrup on the Stanley Cup and shoving said cup, up the anus. Abnormally large, preferably freshly molted moose antlers are then used as pliers to drop the Canadian cuisine Poutine down the mouth of a young Canadian woman. Beavers are optional.

It is illegal in 54 United States.

Broseph, last night I studied up on some of Canada's History with my girlfriend, Darcy, last night, aye.

Colbert made me do this.

by Butt Sweat February 4, 2010

Canada's History

A horrifically depraved sex act involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. Usually performed by a tag team of Canadian Mounties on loose women from Saskatchewan. First brought to light by Stephen Colbert.

After going through Canada's History, the poor girl needed four months of therapy.

by Biggie132 February 4, 2010

Canada's History

A vile and depraved sex act for those with whom gerbilling was simply not enough. A gerbil is inserted into the anus for sexual stimulation, then, once removed, it is used to gag a partner's mouth, who is then (usually) double-penetrated.

"Did you hear Cindy's going to be the party?"
"Yeah, but I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole, I heard she did Canada's History with some random dude last week."
"I am horrified."

---------------------------
"Did you hear about that magazine The Beaver?"
"What about it?"
"It's changing its name to 'Canada's History' because they thought it's name would no longer be censored for pornography!"
"Boy is that ironic!"

by Thulnak February 4, 2010