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statement cookie

a fortune cookie that doesn't actually have a fortune in it, instead they package it with a lame statement like; Versatility is one of your greatest features.
Guy 1: Heh, what does you fortune cookie say?
Guy 2: Its not a fortune cookie its a goddamn statement cookie, it reads, " To understand a man, you must listen to his words."
Guy 1: Duh that's not only a statement, but its fucking obvious, more like a douche cookie.
by Crunchyness October 2, 2007
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Jake from State Farm

what you call a friend when your wife/girlfriend gets jealous and wonders who you have been hanging out with until 3 in the morning.
Who were you with all night? Jake from State Farm
by Cadet 7755 September 2, 2014
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Jewnited States of America

The paradisal, prelapsarian Eden that the United States is morphing into under the stewardship of Jewish politicians and billionaire-funded NGOs where the few Caucasians who survived the purges of the 2020s will be sent to work underground in mines or consigned to museums for posterity to delight and inspire the imaginations of the hoards of immigrants who replaced them
The ADL and SPLC are drafting a new constitution for the Jewnited States of America in close consultation with rabbis and Talmudic scholars.
by Max Fillpot September 27, 2021
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Blue mountain state

The greatest fucking show ever. If you haven't seen it, tie your nut sack to a cinder block and throw it off a cliff
by dresch5 January 14, 2014
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Owen Statement

A statement made about an observation that is overwhelmingly true (and/or funny) when you think about it, but a statement not anyone can make.
An Owen Statement example: A hot pretzel that gets cold at a sports game is colder than the actual temperature outside.
by The Gosh Dang Bruin February 10, 2020
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Ohio State

Someone who identifies by the pronoun “the”.
The other day my sibling told our family that their pronoun is now ‘The’. My sibling is an Ohio State.
by TK2000 October 28, 2023
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Penn State Behrend

Located in north-western Pennsylvania, this branch campus offers a variety of majors/minors to a generally unmotivated student body.

The school receives an annual snow fall of 30 to 40 feet which begins approximately 45 minutes after the blistering heat ends in August. The focal point of the campus is the amazing physics phenomena which requires students to walk uphill to and from class.

Around 65% of the students are 5th year seniors thanks to the grand engineering scheduling structure. On a more positive note, the school offers a male to female ratio of about 6 to 1 which is more balanced than years past. However, with this increase in female population comes a steep rise in bitch.

The food options for Behrend are limited to dobbins (home of the dobbins dash), Bruno's, and the always lovely Hungry Howie's. Without the latter, the entire student body would certainly starve to death or resort to cannibalism.

Overall, Penn State Behrend is absolutely the greatest school anyone could ever go to because amazing crazy things always happen (pop secret). If you can tunnel through the snow and bull shit, its not all that bad of a place to live.
Penn State Behrend was the only school I applied to, but unfortunately i got in.
by NDKalltheway November 6, 2009
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