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I would rather shit on my hands and clap

When someone would like you to go, do or attend something you rather wouldn't.
Friend: hey do you wanna go for a Nandos?
Me: I would rather shit on my hands and clap.
by Drbigman May 28, 2016
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Originally Northern Irish, this expression shows confusion. As in:
(1) I'm so drunk I don't know if I need a shit or a haircut!
(2) What the fuck are you talking about?! You don't know if you need a shit or a haircut!
by Bobby8585 July 30, 2008
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I don't fucking know why I writing this shit no more

so I am all out of words and so little fucking ideas tighten my mind desperately
Kidnapper ask for candy: I don't fucking know why I writing this shit no more,, take candy
by bitchdipshit February 20, 2021
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to put it in layman's terms, you make me so sick i would rather defecate at the expense of my own undergarments instead of being in your presence.
your so shit that i would rather shit in my own jocks and wear them as a hat than know you!
by discombobulator! November 21, 2010
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I keep my shit on lock

Being loyal to one person.
by Calyforniadreamin January 11, 2018
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I can’t shit for a week

When you eat something so cheesy that it plugs your asshole till next week.
Person A: I’ll take a large cheese pizza with extra cheese please.
Person B: No dad, I can’t shit for a week if we get that pizza
by BipolarUnicorn2 March 27, 2020
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