glutard

One who often and aggressively expresses their opinion about gluten but knows almost nothing about it.

A Glutard will not know:
- What gluten actually is.
- That gluten free food is more processed than their gluten counterparts because the wheat gluten must be extracted.
- What current science says about real gluten intolerance (Celiac disease).
- How gluten intolerance occurs (such as believing that you can breath gluten in like asbestos or absorb gluten through the skin and hair)

A Glutard will speak absolute lies, such as:
- gluten is a"chemical additive" put there by "the food industry."
- gluten free food is more "natural."
- gluten causes cancer.
- gluten causes illness X or making us all sick/dumb/obedient, etc.
- Will mix/match/interchange gluten with various substances which aren't gluten (such as Monosodium glutamate, known as MSG)

A Glutard's opinion of the negative effects of gluten also extend beyond diet alone. Their "knowledge" of gluten is made up of complete lies and/or marketing information from labelled gluten free food products.

True example:

Person 1: "So, what are the advantages of gluten free soap? I thought gluten only affected your diet?"

Glutard: "It's been proven that soap releases gluten fibers which you can breath in and make you sick. This is why you sometimes feel out of breath after a shower."

The guy at the health food counter at whole foods is a glutard, he told me that eating gluten causes brain abnormalities in laboratory rats.

by SearchFHG November 13, 2014

gluten

A protein that is found in cereal grains such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, and kamut, but NOT in rice, quinoa, corn, buckwheat, or millet. It is a more common allergen than most people are aware of. The condition in which the body creates an immune response to products containing gluten is called Celiac disease.

My little bro is shitting blood because of that bowl of pasta you made him. I told you he's gluten sensitive, you douchebag!

by WILLERxKILLER July 8, 2006

Glutton Button

The "Glutton Button" is a western derived term referring to the "top button" of ones trousers and or pantaloons. It is usually hidden by the overlap of a bulging belly after the indulgence of a very satisfying meal. Oftentimes after having ones hunger thoroughly satisfied, the button launches projectile-like from the weakening waistband. Like a blazing star, it shoots across the room looking for a glass to shatter or an eye to maim.

The button is to be undone ONLY after eating a very hearty meal. Failure to do so could result in a violent eruption of the foundation of the blue jeans one wears. If undone under any other circumstance besides the eating a great and hearty dinner, one will look very stupid and their friends will not play with them for the entirety of the evening.

I am so full. It's time I released my glutton button

by mtheadman November 12, 2009

Thanksgiving glutton

one who eats too much on Thanksgiving Day.

Not all become Thanksgiving gluttons on Thanksgiving Day.

by uttam maharjan November 26, 2011

Gluttonomous System

An extremely large gluttonous individual who habitually tends to do many things in excess, more specifically, indulging in fast foods or sweets on a daily basis. A Gluttonomous System can sometimes become so large that it may in fact obtain it's own gravitational pull and causing other objects with less mass to gravitate around it.

Cletus, get that bloody cheeseburger out of your mouth you're beginning to look like a Gluttonomous System!

by bdceigal May 13, 2011

gluterus

A porte-manteau of "uterus" and "gluteus maximus"

1. a homosexual male's butthole
2. a butthole used for buttsex, male or female

"Yayahh mayne, dat waz a tight gluterus."

by Lewis Carroll February 17, 2013

glutenhardo

when someone has to make it known that they are gluten free and they spaz when people have it around them

dude i was with this chick and i whipped out a breadstick and she pulled a glutenhardo

by Urmomispoo69 March 2, 2019