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Sidney the Neck Weasel

A small evil weasel known only to a small cult, the sidneyites, who both worship and fear him in equal measure. Born in Camden, Sidney quickly became king of the weasels until he was stepped on by a goth and killed. However, due to his amazingness, he became a god, and instructed the first sidneyite to skin him and place his hide in a clothes shop. However, due to his insatiable lust for blood and sexual intercourse, Sidney was relegated from god to unspeakable demon of the night and now haunts people in their wildest nightmares. He's Sidney the neck weasel. You wear him like a scarf. He wears your soul like a Justin Hawkins style Jumpsuit. But he doesn't believe in a thing called love. Just violence. Watch out.
"Oh shit, is that Sidney the Neck Weasel I see over there with David Mitchell, Stalking Max and Kim?"

"yeah look, he just ate their feet."

"Oh, shit. Now they're wearing him like a scarf..."
by MaximumDoubleR September 19, 2009
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weasel words

Language designed to sound like something without actually saying anything... Deliberately so ambiguous or watered-down as to be essentially meaningless.
Republicans are in favor of "Strong Family Values"
by Honor May 13, 2005
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Weasel Riding a Woodpecker

When you go to take your lady friend from behind and you instead jump on her back and put your finger in her ass, causing her to flap her arms furiously and give you a brief ride around the room.
I twisted my ankle last night when I surprised my lady friend by giving her a Weasel Riding a Woodpecker.
by gueeessssswhoooooo March 3, 2015
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Weasel Cat

It is the apex predator of Arvada, Colorado. It has the strength of ten raccoons, the length of a vespa scooter, the height of a fire hydrants, and the eyes of a demon long dead (just red). It is rarer than big foot, chupacabra, and an affordable housing with a view of the mountains.
"Bro, I just saw the Weasel Cat by 72nd and Wadsworth"
by TheLasso May 16, 2019
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Shipping Weasel

Someone who sells on Ebay but always charges waaaaay too much for shipping because that's how they make their profits without having to pay Ebay so much.
I nearly bought a replacement Ipod on Ebay the other day but the shipping weasel wanted $45 to send it.
by Johnny Huh October 14, 2005
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grade weasel

Students who beg for higher grades without putting work or effort forth, or serious justification for raising it.
A student who earns a 68% in class and begs for a C- so they can graduate is a grade weasel.
by Nick-O-SD June 13, 2008
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parking weasel

A city employee whose only function is to generate revenue for the city by handing out parking tickets for such ridiculous offenses as "not turning your wheels to the curb when parked on a hill", "no front license plate", or "meter violations when you haven't stepped out of your car yet to feed the meter".

They are often seen hovering around "no parking after 5PM" zones at 4:57PM.
Attention party guests, if you parked on the hill, please make sure you turned your wheels to the curb, we have a bad problem with parking weasels.
by geedavee June 16, 2010
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