spank my butt and call me Nancy

to punctuate desperation in order to change a circumstance

Attending a tedious cocktail party from which Billy D finds himself pinned in a conversation from which there is no relief. Standing there, minute after minute, taking it all in and wanting nothing more that to be home in bed; he feels his stomach turn and tighten, cold and sweat outline him, he wants out; his Gucci suit minimizes. His scalp itches and hots up suffocating under the conversation and the people. Suddenly, a well-groomed accountant next to him barks out, "Current data from my data extrapolated to further the outcomes on the Harrington Report confirms a speculation that the market trend should ..." At that point, Billy D. has his Dickens’ moment; his steamed brain snaps. A growling hum exits his thorax inexplicably. The accountant eyes him -- a dik dik to an approaching lion. Billy D. holds the accountant’s eyes way too long in primeval contact. He raises his eyebrows up and down as the masturbator in Dostoyevsky’s famous novel . He wanted the floor; he wanted to express something real; now he had the floor and total control; they were fixated. Then he let go the phrase that would end his tenure at the conversation hell-school of life and liberate him from their hold now and forever. He gave it up, loud and proud in rainbow fashion, "Well, spank my butt and call me Nancy." And that was it. It was all over. Their grip on him came crashing down. What he was in others' eyes now permitted him to leave the group without question or guilt forever it would be different.

by Royal Wulff October 11, 2013

spank the dolphin

Wacking off your dad.

Dude, last night my mom made me spank the dolphin.

by dolphins12345 December 3, 2013

spank fodder

any material or imagery that is used simply for jacking off

That headshot of Tony Danza made for some great spank fodder for Kevin.

by Rugdoctor June 24, 2006

spank'd

of being beat, tired, hungover, rather ripped, or just generally out of it following a troublesome series of events; also describing the state of affairs

Ma, my whole place burned down, my apartment burned down. It was faulty wiring... it is just... spank'd.

by speaks4treez September 10, 2010

spank the monkey

When a man masterbates or strokes his penis

All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!

by The Molster March 4, 2004

Spank Me Harder Daddy

Daddy ( ur sexual lover) will spank you because you have been a naughty girl recently.

Grill: Oh daddy I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep it going longer.
Daddy:You deserve a spanking young girl.
(Slap, Slap)
Grill: Oh yes, spank me harder daddy.

by IceWallowCome6969696969 January 31, 2019

spank rag

The recipient of frequent masturbation, usually a sock or old tee-shirt.

Something smelled like graham crackers. It was a washcloth he used as a spank rag, which he kept under his bed.

by Andizzle4Life September 7, 2005