The mobile device that makes your current phone look like a brick with buttons. It doesn't just have a faster processor; it has a quantum co-processor—a small, cryogenically-cooled chip that offloads specific, universe-bending calculations. This enables real-time, perfect language translation by modeling all possible syntax permutations at once, unbreakable encryption via quantum key distribution, and sensors that use quantum entanglement to detect everything from underground water to your true emotional state. The camera doesn't just take pictures; it can perform quantum state tomography, seeing the polarization of individual photons. The downside? It might render certain answers from a state of probability, meaning your weather app sometimes shows you both sunny and rainy until you actually look outside, collapsing the forecast into reality.
Example: "I asked my quantum smartphone to find the most statistically perfect coffee shop. It put five locations in superposition on my map until I started walking, then collapsed the wave function to reveal the one with the shortest line and the best pastries. It also notified me that the barista's quantum emotional state was 'fluctuating towards grumpy,' so I tipped in advance." Quantum Smartphones
by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026
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by Joe O'Regan November 24, 2015
Get the smart phone dump mug.Where a student in class answers all the questions and the teacher avoids asking the student any more questions and acts as though they do not exist.
Teacher: Does anyone know the answer?
Student: (Puts hand up)
Teacher: Anyone at all? Okay no-one, let's go through an example then.
Student: (To friend) He totally just smartzoned me.
Student: (Puts hand up)
Teacher: Anyone at all? Okay no-one, let's go through an example then.
Student: (To friend) He totally just smartzoned me.
by geekyvirgin October 24, 2015
Get the smartzoned mug.A very small Twitch streamer who plays whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
Her stream schedule is abysmal, but she's very entertaining.
Unless you're a bigot, a transphobe, or a homophobe.
Or any combination of the three.
Her stream schedule is abysmal, but she's very entertaining.
Unless you're a bigot, a transphobe, or a homophobe.
Or any combination of the three.
by SmartGoneStupid February 25, 2022
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by Yanchai June 20, 2025
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