functioning addict

A person that has an addiction whether it be to alcohol or drugs and still able to maintain a "normal" life.

My boyfriend is a functioning addict. He can drink from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed and still is able to go to work.

by I Can Be Your Cutie April 12, 2008

functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.

Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.

by Brett319 June 17, 2008

Functional alcoholic

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

fancy boy

A man who tries to cultivate an image of himself as being elegant and refined by wearing fancy, expensive clothes and using affected mannerisms. He's not stereotypically "manly", and often seems effete. In the past they were known as a fop or a dandy. Not the same thing as a metrosexual, but vaguely similar.

A sloppily-dressed man sees an elegantly-dressed man walk past.
Sloppy man, sarcastically: "Hey, fancy boy! Nice clothes!"
Fancy boy: "Oh please, you wish you looked this good."

by bstokes June 14, 2006

Fancy Tucker

A chick with a dick

That chick was hot but turns out she was just a fancy tucker!

by filthy pirate hooker January 16, 2010

Gentleman's Fancy

The area between the balls and the butt hole.

Billy was quite thrilled when Giselda offered to lick his Gentleman's Fancy.

by Syrathungor May 12, 2010

fancy pants

Someone who is dressed fancy or act in a fancy matter. usually accompinied by a "Mr." prefix.

We need to return your tuxedo tomorrow Mr. fancy pants.

by Mike Hoff February 16, 2004