Dirty Matthew

Similar to the houdini, however, just as you are about to bust your load, you pull out and hawk one on your girl's back. When she turns around to smile at you, you whip out your 1,000,000 candle power spotlight and yell "Roll Tide," which blinds and then confuses her. She hops up and stumbles around, running into things like a drunk Auburn chick. The kicker is, you're stuck with her Lexus payments the next morning.

Redneck #1: How'dya make out last season?
Cracker #1: I dun shot me a 10 point buck, how'dyu do?
Redneck #2: I dragged one out of the woods and put the old dirty matthew on her, now she's got me steppin and fetchin, I tell ya, I am WORE OUT!
Cracker #1: TCB, man, of all the muthafuckas, you are the muthafuckest!

by typical_cracker_behavior January 25, 2006

Matthew

An annoying little bitch who hates being called Mat, Don't talk to this guy, he will murder you in your sleep

A Psycho just killed 12 people!
Must be a Matthew

by LITTLEFAG!101 February 20, 2020

Matthew

literally albino

like Matthew is actually albino

by crackheadinvasionomgscary August 15, 2019

Matthew

A Matthew is an oblivious idiot. Once he gets interested in something on his iPad, you can call him a bitch right into his ear, and he won't notice. He doesn't know when to stop singing cancerous Jake Paul "rap" songs. He is tall and very awkward. When he tries to play basketball, he just hits you in the face and gives a puppy face to say sorry.

Wow, Matthew is the dumbest kid in the school.

by squirrelfish222 September 28, 2017

Matthew

Noun: An all around douche bag, derived from the Filipino word "Kupal" which means smegma.
Verb: The act of masturbating with one's toes.

(Noun form): " That guy looks like smegma. He's a Matthew."
(Verb form): " Dayum, I haven't Matthewed in a while".

by Adultish Priest May 17, 2017

matthew

A sarcastic guy who will make you smile. Hes gonna kill anyone who thinks little of him. He has great control over his surroundings and he's a good leader. You'll never forget him.

Matthew is used as a good guy

by Another Friend01 December 13, 2017

Matthew

A boy who will make you love him. He will make you think he loves you. After a month or so, he will leave you like nothing. He will tell you be never loved you.
Some describe him as athletic, slim, amazing hair, and overall perfect.

Matthew came into my life and destroyed me.

Eric just played Alyssa. He's such a Matthew.

by This-is-the-truthh August 20, 2016