Top definition
1) A type of pun that makes you shake your head in disbelief that it was actually said.
2) A comment from a person that is expected to be taken as the gospel regards of how faulty or unlikely it is simply because of the person who is saying it.
1) While standing at the urinal, one guy says to another, "Having a pissy day?" Reply: Shakes head and replies, "Damn Matthewism."
2) "Well actually, the F-14 Tomcat is the best fighter jet because it is powered by the Commador 64 with a 28 inch floppy drive running at 87.2% capacity." Reply: no audible response necessary.
by thriwn_rod January 13, 2015
Get the mug
Get a Matthewism mug for your Aunt Riley.
To lead people on with comments or made up β€œfacts” to the point that they are not sure if it is true. To babble out false facts like you just finished your doctorate paper on the subject.
Did you know that back in 1954, the same year I was born, is when they had the first live internet porn website? You don’t want to know why I know that fact.

Man taking his wife to laser corrective eye surgery. Honey I have something I have wanted to tell you before you find out because frankly it is inevitable that you will find out on your own soon. So for the last few years something has been happening that I hope you can forgive me for but I really hope you can still love me. Honey now that you will have corrected vision you will finally see that for years now, well, I have been going bald.

If you ever are upset about rodents or insects getting into your house you will be really pissed if you ever have to deal with a cow infestation they get into your crawlspace and walls and are just a bitch to get out. Classic Matthewism
by Eno21 February 26, 2008
Get the mug
Get a Matthewism mug for your mom Zora.
A certain self-loathing in which one holds a clear position against a belief system, and yet has those exact views under a different name.
Man 1: "Advertisements should be banned from internet websites. Businesses don't need revenue because the people don't need private businesses."
Man 2: "What are you talking about, are you some sort of Marxist?"
Man 1: "What? I abhor Marxism. I am just against large corporations."
Man 3: "He's not a Marxist, he's a Matthewist! Damned Matthewism..."
by Drydess August 27, 2017
Get the mug
Get a Matthewism mug for your buddy Trump.