Relativistic Computers

The physical hardware designed to operate reliably under the extreme conditions required for relativistic computing. These aren't just silicon in a fancy box; they must be engineered to withstand incredible gravitational tidal forces, acceleration stresses, and the bizarre energy environments near massive objects. Their architecture might use light-based processors to avoid issues with electron flow under relativistic conditions, and they require paradox-proof communication systems to send data back to a slower-timed frame without losing sync.

*Example: "My new gaming rig is a relativistic computer. I had it installed on a drone ship doing a continuous 0.5c boost-brake loop. In-game latency is zero, because by the time my input reaches it, the entire next frame is already calculated. The electricity bill is mostly rocket fuel."* Relativistic Computers

by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026

Algorithmic Computer-Generated Consciousness

The ACC, a “company” (lemonade stand with Mark and Gertrude) that makes “AI” (Mark and Gertrude) and “games” (ripoff Pokémon and ripoff pong)

The ACC/Algorithmic Computer-Generated Consciousness/Algonsciousness is genuinely the worst “company” ever, why did you make this

by Bob B. Bobberton February 17, 2026

Coffee Computer Ballistic Missile

For one to eat a large quantity of walnuts.

He coffee computer ballistic missiled on thursday!

by pizzaman120124 March 14, 2026

glowing computer chip

synonym to LED
was intended to be an insult towards LEDs, but actually makes for a good alternative title for them

— I hate those glowing computer chips so much!
- some jerk in Technology Connections comments, probably, circa 2020

by kalabochik November 14, 2025

Algorithmic Computer-generated Consciousness

Best A“I” “Company”(Temu lemonade stand with Gertrude and Mark) in the world.

I just used the Algorithmic Computer-generated Consciousness website and it caused me to lose 69 sextillion brain cells from Gertrude.

by ACCMONKEY December 10, 2025

House of ill compute

a church or temple.

(parody of the term house of ill repute)

ah! The christian's must be heading to the house of ill compute.

by Qrez October 13, 2017

monkey playing a computer

Monkeys don't use computers there not smart. there stupid minds are stupid stupid stupid.

Mom I saw a monkey playing a computer. honey monkeys don't do that.

by please be appropriate March 6, 2020