A completely self-absorbed tool who is completely oblivious to just how much they really suck. There are several varieties of Douche Bags, all equally deserving of being sodomized with a jack hammer. Some potential identifiers include:

Shitty trucks lifted excessively, often covered in stickers of random "bro-brands," often blasting mainstream rap music

Wearing flip-flops everywhere, even when it's 20 degrees outside

Brightly colored polo shirts (bonus points with a popped collar) usually with some hippy necklace, or a cross even though they only use religion to socialize with pseudochristian bimbos.

Wearing wifebeaters in public, sunglasses at night, stupid baseball caps with the sticker still on it, and excessively using the word bro.

Also Included: Most business majors and people with tribal tattoos.

Everyone knew John was a douche bag as soon as he rolled up in his lifted truck blasting lil wayne, parked halfway on the curb, and got out with a case of keystone light.

If that douche bag quotes family guy one more time, I'm going to use a power sander to wipe that stupid grin of his face.

Douche Bag by CoalitionAgainstDouchebaggery July 20, 2010

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Douche Dragon

1.Someone who is MORE than just a douche.

2. The massive evil dragon in How To Train Your Dragon, that eats the little dragons when they don't bring him food.

Man- "Make me food woman!"

Woman- "MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD YOU DOUCHE DRAGON!"

Douche Dragon by 9greer9 December 7, 2010

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douche canoe

Not a definition but the orgin of the phrase: This phrase was coined in 2004 by Blake Edmondson in Camp Walker, South Korea. It was used as an alternative phrase for someone being a complete moron / dick / dirtbag. After Edmondson transferred stations I attempted to pass this phrase on along with other greats such as..... Gungle a gungle, (rumble of a V8) Kadouche (boom), and Splack (disgusting splash).

Mongo don't be such a douche canoe, just drink the damn shot!

douche canoe by You know! October 12, 2012

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Douche Monkey

A rare form of inbred monkey that live primarily in used condoms, gutters, garbage disposals, and windmills. i.e. a monkey so gay, that its only form of employment is cleaning the cunts and nutsacks of transgender freaks. A fucked up monkey.

Raphael: Yo, what u got under ur bed?
Demetri: Shit, piss, whiskey, and a Douche Monkey...
Raphael: Sweet, can I buy your Douche Monkey?
Demetri: Hell no, then no one would clean my balls!
Raphael: Ur a fucked up dude..

Douche Monkey by cdogg23 November 8, 2007