Humans

Advanced monkeys with complex brain structures and even more complicated feelings.

A: We are all so blessed to be humans
B: Dude don't be so happy.. we are just advanced monkeys!

by M. RIDDLE February 20, 2019

Human-Counterfeit:

A person who tries to give the impression of greatness or highlight their strong social and moral standers within the community or public eye, but in reality when looked at deeply have skeletons in their closet that would make the most despicable seem to have saint hood status, Human-Counterfeit.

Human-Counterfeit: Did you catch that Politician on the TV last night singing their song of greatness, what a Human-Counterfeit?

Human-counterfeit: The preacher man invited me to attend his church down the street to save my soul. What the heck, this dude talk’s smack about everyone in the community if they don’t attend his church. What a Human-Counterfeit.

Human-Counterfeit: Hay dude did you think we would ever live in a society with so many Human-Counterfeit.

by Justden May 11, 2019

human fly trap

When you nut on your pillow or sheets then proceed to lay in it.

After the rim job I turned the bed into a human fly trap

by FlyTrapGod November 1, 2019

Human Water Hose

When you shove a garden hose up your ass and put that fucker on jet, then hope for the best

I’m so close to committing human water hose right now!

by Mikeox big November 29, 2019

Human Flapjacking

Two people sexually pressing their bodies together with syrup between them (butter optional) while masturbating each other.

Bill: You want Aunt Jemima or Mrs Buttersworth?
Bill 2: For what?
Bill: I thought we were going to try Human Flapjacking tonight?
Bill 2: Oh shit, that’s right. Get some Buttersworth. Speaking of, don’t forget some butter.
Bill: Margarine ok?
Bill 2: No, Bill, it is not. I have standards.

by Wolf Edmunds December 7, 2019

Human

Featherless biped

Humans have ruined natural selection.

by Theshadowgod2005 December 30, 2019

Human CentiPAX

A term for the phenomenon of people ripping too many farts in a large crowd, under the cover of anonymity. The collective offense hangs so thick in the air, the farts are not only in your mouth, but travel the whole way down such that you fart other people’s farts. The cycle is perpetuated by other people then farting your farts.

This often occurs at gaming conventions, where many attendees need reminders to practice basic hygiene.

Pax East 2020 was the smelliest convention I ever attended, it was like being in the middle position of a Human CentiPAX.

by Filthy Richard March 2, 2020