Skip to main content

Jesus-Titty-Fucking-Christ 

Used - to great effect - by the boss in 'Team America - World Police.'
(Michael Moore enters)

"Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ!!!!"

(Ham flies everywhere)

Jesus Land 

Any state that gave Bush the electoral vote. Usually directed at the south.
Jesus Land by JohnJohn1186 November 9, 2004

Jesus Table-Making Christ 

An exclamation of intense feeling, suitable for both positive or negative circumstances. "Table-Making" is a reference to the popular Christian belief that Jesus was the son of a carpenter, and also a carpenter himself.
"Jesus Table-Making Christ, what's a guy gotta do to give a broad the pickle-tickle in this town!?"
Jesus Table-Making Christ by Drew M. November 28, 2006

Jesus-ey 

The act of being kind, caring, benevolent
Clarie: "Sheila, your new jeans make your ass look fat!!"

Shelia: "Geez Clarie, that was not a very Jesus-ey thing to say...You bitch!"
Jesus-ey by Lt 50 December 2, 2009

Jesus rail 

n.

The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.
(in car, Driver accelerates)

Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!

Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!

etc.
Jesus rail by SilverGirl78 April 8, 2011

Jesus in a lightbulb 

The thing that appears above your head when you think to yourself, either silently or out loud, "WWJD?"

When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.
Dude: "Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have pocketed that $20 that just fell outta that lil' ol' lady's purse...."

(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).