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Turtle Status

when you are waiting on someone to deliver something or drop something off and they are taking for ever to show up or call back.
when murph says he will be over in 10 minutes to give you the money he owes you and still hasn't called and hour later. fucking TURTLE STATUS.
by 321firefunk January 9, 2010
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turtle sex

to masturbate with a turtle object

Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.
Kristen: Where's Mert?
Lafundah: Oh he'll be late, he's having turtle sex again....
by keggerthebegger January 15, 2008
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turtle tail

Having to take a dump so badly that the turd is starting to wiggle its way out of the gate. Incorrectly defined on urbandictionary.com as turtle head, "turtle tail" is a much better descriptor for a tapered turd that has quietly poked its way out of your posterior.
Dude, can you pull over at that gas station? I've got a turtle tail.
by mig May 7, 2005
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turtle's itching the cotton

When you have to shit so bad it is poking out into your underwear
Uh oh, I better hurry to the toilet, the turtle is itching the cotton!
by chunk a and ba dunka dunk February 23, 2005
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Turtle Shelling

V. The act of taking someones backback when they're not looking, taking everything out of the main pocket, turning the bag inside out, placing everything back in, zipping it up so as the zippers are on the inside making it difficult to open back up, and placing it back next to the person before they find out what you've been doing.
Dude 1: Dude Joe's not looking, grab his bag.

Dude 2: I got it.

Dude 1: Give it here.

Dude 2: What are you doing with it?

Dude 1: Im turtle shelling it.

Dude 2: Nice, go go go.
by Dickfacelardass101 March 9, 2009
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turtle awkward

sarahs english class was turtle awkward the day after she got drunk and madeout with a geek in her class. talking to your ex.
by christina_jessica September 27, 2008
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