satanic panic

When the Satanists panic and start throwing everything against the wall in order to try to distract and cause chaos because somebody somewhere took away something sacred to them.
The dawn of 2020 kicked off the largest, most extended satanic panic of all time.
by Objective-Reason Daddy October 24, 2023
Get the satanic panic mug.

Satanic Panic

Satanic panic is a phenomenon where angry old Christian conservatives (also see noncervatives) start clutching their pearls about anything totally harmless bring "evil" or spewing complete nonsense about how the devil is trying to "brainwash" people. Recently started facing a very noticeable resurgence around the time the 2024 Paris Olympics started, where drag queens performed in the opening ceremony (which due to being filmed for a live audience, was totally family friendly).

Naturally, these pissed off old people with no life have taken to standing around all day in the streets throughout many states, holding up signs telling people to more or less convert to Christianity or Catholicism. These 'protests' aren't always peaceful though, as a few instances reported these same people with signs crying Satanic panic, have resorted to attempting to more or less kidnap unattended children or outright trying to grab them from their parents, hinting at these conservatives' more naturally predatory instincts.

If you encounter an instance of Satanic panic, hide your kids and hide your wives/husbands/partners, but most importantly, remember to yell the word Nonce as loud as you can. That way, their Satanic panic will be cured in no time. Worst case scenario, call the authorities, kidnapping is against the law.

If you or someone you know is showing signs or has a history of Satanic panic, seek help today.
Susan: I heard Benjamin ended up on the register last week

Helen: Benjamin?? What did he do?

Susan: The Satanic panic got to him, I heard they found 3 girls dressed in white and tied up in his basement!

Helen: This is getting out of control, I hope he's getting the help he clearly needs
by StopTheConsies August 02, 2024
Get the Satanic Panic mug.

at the crack of Satan's ass

At dawn or early in the morning, whenever the sun is rising. Especially if you are a late-night person or typically don't wake up prior to 8:00 AM or later.
I had to wake up at the crack of Satan's ass this morning.
by fuzzywasabear April 08, 2024
Get the at the crack of Satan's ass mug.

Satan's Piss

the drink created when mixing apple juice, grape juice and diet coke.
me: "what're u drinking?"
cool guy: "satan's piss bro"
by liisadumbstupididiot December 21, 2020
Get the Satan's Piss mug.

Satan's pretzel

When one sticks their dick in their own ass.
"Holy shit, that looks like Satan's pretzel! I didn't mean for you to literally go fuck yourself."
by C0deRage October 17, 2019
Get the Satan's pretzel mug.

Satanous

Kim Jong Un is acting rly satanous towards his North Korean
by Ya boi pasty March 03, 2019
Get the Satanous mug.

hellish satanic suffering

a heavy metal sensation amongst the underground, one of the best to exist
"hey man I bought tickets for the next hellish satanic suffering concert!"
by crusaderthefork (diabolical) August 08, 2022
Get the hellish satanic suffering mug.