Toilet Guardian

A member of the Ancient Order of the Guard of Club Lavatories. Those incredibly mystical and powerful brown people who watch you pee and then wash your hands for you. Surprising numbers of them seem to be serial rapists/sex offenders

"No spray no laaay, no spray no laay, we want gash gash gash" - Toilet Guardian

"Be quiet, Toilet Guardian" - person

by twigulus October 23, 2011

toilet friendly

a bowel movement that has little or no mess in the toilet.

"This was a really good meal, I sure hope it is 'toilet friendly."

by Bookem Danno October 23, 2011

toilet key

A roll of toilet paper that is brought to you so you can leave the imprisonment of a toilet without shit tickets.

Honey, can you grab the "toilet key" for me, I'm locked in again! Fucking kids need to start replacing the rolls!

by davidbrookstone October 25, 2011

toilet stalling

To stall for time by staying in the toilet stall after finishing your business, until other people in the bathroom have left, to avoid the awkward encounter.

Toilet stalling: "I was taking a crap, and then I heard the boss come in, so I toilet-stalled until he left."

by wicked son December 18, 2011

toiletify

When you're too lazy to go to the toilet so you just use something else instead.

Im going to toiletify this bin

by Werly November 28, 2012

Toilet Raft

To build a small raft from toilet paper so that your poo shall not splash on first descent.

Tiffany: what took you so long, sounded like a wee.
Bruce: Thats what the Toilet Raft wanted you to think.

by Eronzay May 23, 2012

Toilet Cake

Any baked treat eaten within the confines of a bathroom.

This can include cake, pie, cookies, eclairs, donuts or any other sweet treat. There is a deep shame associated with eating toilet cake.

"Can't believe you caught Bill eating toilet cake."

"I know, bro. Why in the world would someone eat devils food cake in the shitter?"

by Dr. Victor Von Doom April 4, 2013