Winter Haven

1) The place where the elderly go to die....but only after they drive slowly in the left lane in their obnoxiously large, white, American cars.

2) A city in Florida with an ass ton of inconveniently placed lakes.

3) Downtown Orlampa.

4) Snowbird central.

Person 1: Dammit! Why is this person in a Grand Marquis driving in the left lane 20 mph under the speed limit parallel to this guy in the Crown Victoria?!?!

Person 2: Because they're old, senile, and about to die. But I guess you'd drive slowly too if you couldn't see over the steering wheel...


Person 1: Wait...why the hell does Winter Haven have more lakes than Lakeland?

Person 2: Good question...


Person 1: Should we go to Warped Tour in Orlando or Tampa?

Person 2: Both!! Hells yeah for living in Orlampa!


Person 1: Why is everything so crowded all of a sudden??

Person 2: The snowbirds have migrated... They need to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by bubblemuffin August 1, 2008

winner's edit

A term to describe when one particular contestant on a reality television show recieves a lot of camera time and is shown in a very positive light compared to the other contestants, and are only shown on the show when they are doing something good. This contestant goes on to win the reality show. The purpose of the "winner's edit" is to have the fans pleased with the final outcome because they find the winner endearing, when in reality (no pun intended) it only makes the show boring and predictable because it becomes pretty obvious who is recieving this winner's edit after only a few episodes. Antonymn: see loser's edit.

Person 1: I just watched the finale of Rock of Love 1! Guess who wins?

Person 2: *sigh* I didn't watch it, but clearly Jes won because she has a winner's edit. I stopped watching after episode 2.

Person 1: Yeah, all these vH1 shows stink because of the stupid winners' edits!

by Drewmister August 16, 2008

winter ho

A girl who wears tank tops, halter tops, itty bitty mini skirts, booty shorts, etc. when it's 45° or less outside.

Damn, look at that winter ho; it's about to snow and she has on some booty shorts.

by Pebbles March 2, 2005

wingernails

A condition of getting too much wing sauce under your fingernails. Can sometimes lead to bad social encounters, smelly hand-shakes, and awkward foreplay.

Psychic: "You had... wings for lunch today."
Customer: "YES!!"
Skeptic Friend: "Pshh. She can just see that by your wingernails, man."

by chrispencer k. cunningham III January 21, 2010

winter muffin

Another name for a fun-cooker or, the crease under one's butt cheeks.

Yo, this morning when I woke up, I slapped my winter muffin so hard it turned black and blue!

by bump it November 27, 2010

winter penis

The phenomenon where, in colder winter months, vasoconstriction leads to an average of 30% less girth in the male genitalia. This is due to the body trying to conserve heat, thereby shutting down certain blood pathways to stay warm; the penis being one of them...

Guy 1: Polar vortex hit this week, and I swear my dick shrunk like a half inch in diameter. I don't even want to show my girlfriend...

Guy 2: Sounds like a case of Winter Penis

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 3, 2019

winkerpack

u/winkerpack refers to an Obese Florida man and Reddit user who gained a cult following from r/wallstreetbets leading to the creation of

r/winkerpack the reddit sub dedicated to making the wrong moves and losing money. The average user is astute in Robinhood options trading, but not much else.

I saw winkerpack with his mobility scooter broken down outside Wendys

by Dr. Mantis Toboggan April 13, 2021