Magical Mummy

Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.

Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.

"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"

"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"

"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"

by MagickDio February 5, 2010

Mumple

A dog that is chubby and cute.

Scout, the dog, is the quintessential mumple.

by Scouty93 April 24, 2012

hedge mumper

a lower class of pikey, one that even pikeys themselves frown apon.

oi you old hedge mumper, you aint worth a cup of cold piss.

by harold steptoe November 20, 2007

mummy muff

a vagina that has not seen action for epochs and thus is crusty, cobwebby, sandy, and extremely dangerous to those fool enough to undertake an excavation. also, possibly cursed.

*can also be used in a regular pejorative manner, in addition to being merely a descriptive noun

Todd: "That Barbara Bush probably has a vicious mummy muff."
Jim: "Yeah."

Mic: "OMG, guys. Teddy left at least five shelves of hair product in the bathroom. What a mummy muff!"
Maura: "Yeah, totally."

by E. B. MacNaughton December 10, 2007

alaskan mummy

when one who is from alaska sleeps with their arms across their chest, giving the image of a mummy. they also constanstly fall off the bed during mid sleep thus waking up their female partner.

dude...i was sleeping like an alaskan mummy last night and ended up falling off the bed and waking my girl up

by alaskan mummy March 17, 2009

mummyfest

When you are with people or in a IB chat, and no one has anything to say.
Also applies to boring events.

I'm in a chat room with Santini and Brian, and they havent said a word in an hour. It's a real mummyfest.

I was at a party recently with some of the most boring people I ever met. What a mummyfest.

by cromano115 April 20, 2009

Mumptions

The object of ass-ination when you make assumptions. Mumptions have become a indangered species due to mass assumption.

Do not make assumptions or you will make an ass out of you and mumptions.

by The Canadian aka PyroPigeon April 14, 2004