morning wood energy 

Portmanteau of "big dick energy" and "wood energy" (feng shui). Having so much sexual energy it transforms the entire room.

Fahrrad got morning wood energy like he gonna wake up and change the world.

morning wood energy by bextra December 15, 2020

Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome 

Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome (DMWS) is an erection of the male genitalia that would normally occur after one wakes up, but is heavily delayed and occurs at a later time in the morning. 3 in 5 men are affected by this syndrome on a day to day basis. This generally gives the male extreme discomfort, as they try to hide it from others.

(Sitting on the bus, looking down) Shit, I got Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome!

(Walking down street, looks down) Damn it! DMWS again!

Friend 1: Come on! Erected in the morning?
You: Sorry, it's DMWS.

Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome by MaxNrg November 30, 2010

Sap O' The Morning Wood 

Sap O' The Morning Wood basically refers to when you try to piss with morning wood. Needless to say, it's splashy, messy, and downright humiliating if someone uses the toilet after you.

Sap O' The Morning Wood is also known as Yellow Fire Hose, Anti-Air, The Bear Grylls Windmill and Gold On The Ceiling.

I woke up with a stiffy and experienced some Sap O' The Morning Wood.

Sap O' The Morning Wood by Obloid July 1, 2014

Tiger Morning Wood

Waking up with morning wood, from dreaming about Tiger Woods multiple affairs with nasty bitches. (no homo)

"Yo' homie I ain't gay or nothin but all this media hype around Tiger fuckin all these nasty skanks has me waking up with Tiger Morning Wood."

Tiger Morning Wood by barneygrumble December 16, 2009

Bradley Morning Wood 

The greatest singer and guitarist of our time and the official "Sex Icon of Bluegrass" of the International Bluegrass Association (IBMA). He has written and performed many platinum country hits including "99 Years" and was nominated as the IBMA bluegrass guitarist of the year 4 years in a row. He is a very passionate man and was dubbed "Most Attractive Man In Bluegrass Today" by Bluegrass Today Magazine

Woman 1. "Bradley Morning Wood's schlong is so fucking huge I need him so bad". Woman 2. "I wish he would play me like he does that Martin" Woman 1. "I would love to solve his morning wood problem"

Bradley Morning Wood by HugestManAlive April 12, 2022

unrequited morning wood 

An unsatisfied morning erection or boner.

Morning wood yearns for some loving, but seldom obtains it.

Until our jobs / classes allow us to swing in 25 minutes late, until we are alone on a business trip and jerk the gerk before our big 8 AM meeting, until our wives and girlfriends value the mean, long lasting hardness that a big old morning glory provides, or allow us to shamelessly whack it at at 6:30 AM while she snoozes beside us, until our kids / roommates pick up 6 AM hobbies far away from our bedrooms...sooooo...sooo much morning wood is unrequited......

I woke up with a mean erection...and through the grogginess of waking up..I wanted to satisfy him...knew my wife would enjoy his firmness..and that the juxtaposition of being half asleep but harder than a rock would last long and satisfy...but alas..the morning routine of kids, coffee, work and school got in the way...another case of unrequited morning wood

unrequited morning wood by yappity flappity June 29, 2011

chop the morning wood 

Masturbating right after you wake up to get rid of your "woodiness". See morning wood. masturbation

After having a very good dream, Roy chop the morning wood before going to get breakfast.

chop the morning wood by Roy-Taichou July 18, 2009